"I GOT MY COIN BACK, GET ALL MY BILLS!"

Allow me to share with you, instead of a usual synthesis write-up like the others, what I, as the assigned sharer of the day, cordially expressed during the 6 AM Mass last March 14, 2009 at the GY chapel. I simply just couldn’t contain the overflowing wisdom and goodness of the Lord how He was able to harmonize, through me, my GY experiences (to name one: my recent family transformation experience) and the parables of the Lost Coin, the Lost Sheep, and the Prodigal Son in Luke 15: 1 – 32. For me, this was more than just a synthesis; this was the Father’s way of “celebrating the feast” with me and His friends after the “lost” had gone home. The “celebration” just could not control my quivering lips all throughout my conveyance of God’s message in the presence of Fr. Manol and GY buddies...

Good morning Pads! Bros!

Allow me to share with you one awesome and heartwarming effect the GY formation has caused me to rejoice. Before the Family Dynamics Seminar and Family Day, we (my parents and I) thought Manoy was the prodigal son, the lost coin, the lost sheep. It was after the activity that we realized we were the lost coins, the lost sheep, the lost sons and the older brother. Rigidity was one why we “left” him. And through Fr. Nilo, we were led to realize that “there’s more than engineering…there’s more than mathematics…” in Manoy. As to the story, there’s more than the son’s prodigality, extravagance, sins. And so when we came back “home” to Manoy as he was, as my brother, as their son “beyond his being a pastor”, then God, the ever patient and loving Father (as with the story) ordered a feast! And we really celebrated and enjoyed that feast! That was during the recent Christmas and New Year celebration. Yes, all our past Christmases were joyfully celebrated, but the recent Christmas and New Year was so different; even before the seminar I thought, “This will be a different Christmas and New Year holiday”. And it indeed was! So different and marvelous that I was and am sure I would never forget such moments in my whole life. For last Christmas, that was the first time me and my little brother, with the savings that we had, bought a quality guitar and offered it as a surprise gift to Manoy, to our idol. And that was the very first time we expressed, through the greeting card, the very words, “We love you ‘Noy!” And during the New Year celebration, we were again together after almost 7 years of being incomplete. Though he’s still on the process of recovery and rest now (in our small hut by the farm, an hour away from home, as his specialist recommended), he really has changed a lot, and is getting more deeply happy, peaceful and serene now, like the father, after we went “home”. And for the very first time too, we were able to meet the incoming year with a very solemn and emotional prayer period in front of our old altar, instead of the usual bangs of fireworks and tinkles of coins. Though Manoy didn’t yet join the prayer session (he was just seated on the back listening), what struck me the most was the transformation that happened in the content of each of our prayer: It was not anymore about “May Manoy be finally home with us…”, but instead, words of thanksgiving and imminent hope for finally bringing Manoy back, “Manoy’s back! Though not yet totally, but in the deepest core of our hearts, he’s back and even more!!!” And for the very first time too, in my whole 25 years of existence, we finally had a picture portrait where we were complete as a family (you just don’t know how it was not that easy for us to do such thing before). How happy we were, that few days after the unforgettable event, a large framed picture was already hanging on the very wall of our house. And in my Friendster site, the pictures were already posted, too proud and gratuitous for the whole wide world to see, give thanks to God and convey hope. Through the seminar, the “older brother” in me, in mama and papa was pleased by the Father and soon was led to truth, understanding, acceptance and enlightenment.
In connection with that, yesterday, before lunch time, as I sat down inside the chapel for the regular Consciousness Examen, tears just flowed; I got so emotional as I recalled the series of events that had happened the past week. I could not believe how I was able to make, write, and finish a lot of things in just one whole week; it was just so spontaneous: the editorial thing, editing a GY article for the Tulay publication, filling up the appraisal forms, the program plan for summer, the song and lyrics for last night’s BEC Night…all of them were successfully and marvelously prepared! And what was unbelievable was that, as I was making all these things, “These I do for the GY” was the spring board, was always evolving in my consciousness; not for the self anymore, yet I was so very happy! And what made me even got more emotional was when, with all those awe-inspiring things in mind and heart, I finally expressed to Jesus during the colloquy, “Lord, when I do things according to the talents you bestowed upon me, wala na untay modayeg nako for my own sake…Naa na nako ang ‘coin’ Lord! I already have the ‘coin’ Lord. I already have found my ‘coin’ back. I have found my self-esteem back Lord after the Hospital Ministry. My inner child has returned back Lord after the PSI. I have found my worth and self Lord after the 30-day retreat. I have my family back Lord. I have found back and deepen my perspective in dealing with the poor through the Urban and Rural Immersions. Naa na nako ang ‘coin’ Lord! And I am willing to give all the rest in me. This I do…all for GY…all for Your Church!...not mine! Never will it be for my own sake anymore. Payts na ni Lord; through the ‘coin’, I could already feel your love and grace!” I constantly hope and pray that as I go home from GY, wherever I go, whatever I do, my actions would let the people remark, “He has indeed celebrated after the lost in him had been found and recovered.” Celebrating…meaning: Doing what one, who has undergone the GY formation, must do wherever he goes…
From the family that was transformed, a leader was gradually formed…he bridged a gap…he’ll still be bridging other gaps soon…
Then, he put his right hand in his pocket. He brought out from his pocket a “coin”. Gazing absorbedly on the “coin”, slowly, he smiled; his face brightened. Then he slowly raised his head…and his eyes…looked intently on a direction, on a horizon. There, just nearby, were his friends…waiting, the 99 sheep are waiting, the Father and the older brother are waiting…
Now, with the “coin” he’s holding, the leader is ready to celebrate…


leonilo a. dagpin, jr
03.20.09