JESUS FOR PRESIDENT!

NARRATOR: Read Mt. 26: 17 – 19…pause…That was Thursday evening. The nation started to be busy as candidates began campaigning for the upcoming May 2010 elections. The people were still confused as to who they will vote for President of the Philippines. This time, they wanted genuine change. They wanted a president like King David, a leader who will save them from suffering due to corruption, injustice, oppression, and colonialism.
Jesus and his disciples were on their way to Sky Park to have supper together. The disciples were greatly aware of these growing tensions happening in the country. In fact they were discussing about the issues; for among all party lists, they were the ones who were greatly affected because the people were pressing on them and asking them to do “something”. So they too discussed the possibility of endorsing a fitting candidate.
Soon, they arrived into the upper room (they now enter into the scene, slowly, discussing and whispering to each other silently). They were secretly conferring to each other; and after some time, they came up with a decision. Without Jesus knowing it, they were convinced (they nod in agreement) and unanimous as to who they will endorse for presidency, and it shall be:
PETER: Jesus! (they nod in agreement)
NARRATOR: …and they all pointed to John, the beloved disciple, to inform Jesus about this.
(Jesus enters, while the apostles say “Shhh” to each one)
JOHN: Ahhh…L-L-Lord…let me tell you something. In order to solve the deep-rooted immorality in our country, we would like to ask you to run for president…
JAMES THE LESSER: (immediately after John) Jesus for president!
ALL: Jesus for president! Jesus for president!
ANDREW: Lord, we believe you’ll surely win! You can eradicate all these problems in an instant with your power! And besides, you have the numbers. People from different places kept following you!
PETER: (Known in Peter: he denied Jesus 3 times)
Lord, once you become President, would you appoint me as your PSG chief of staff? You’ll be safe in my protection. Promise, I will not leave you! I will lay down my life for you Lord! Jesus for president!
ALL: Jesus for president!
ANDREW: (known in Andrew: he is a fisherman)
Lord, if you’ll be the President, do not allow anymore any foreign fishing boat to trespass our seas! With that, you’ll be able to help our fellow Filipino fishermen! Jesus for president!
ALL: Jesus for president!
JAMES THE GREATER: (known in James: his statue now shows him riding on a horse striking a Muslim with his sword)
Lord, if you’ll become the president, declare an all-out war against all Moro rebels! Just a single drop of atomic bomb and poof! You’ll end all these terrorisms! Jesus for president!
ALL: Jesus for president!
BARTHOLOMEW: (known in Bartholomew: Jesus saw him under the fig tree…)
Wait! Wait a minute! What are you talking about?! Can anything good come out of Butuan? Well, he easily knows people just as he recognized me as an Israelite while I was under the fig tree. Surely, he could easily detect those corrupt officials in the government! Jesus for president!
ALL: Jesus for president!
Matthew: (known in Matthew: he is a tax collector)
Lord, if you’ll become the President, we’ll show to foreigners our rich and virgin forests in Visayas and Mindanao, so that they will come and invest for mining and logging operations; then they will pay big taxes and we’re going to get rich! Jesus for president!
ALL: Jesus for president!
SIMON THE ZEALOT: (known in Simon: he is a revolutionary, extreme nationalist)
Money, money, money! Why don’t you also think of our poor farmers! Lord, if you’ll become the president, support the Sumilao farmers in Bukidnon! Makibaka against the abusive landlords! Jesus for president!
ALL: Jesus for president!
PHILIP: (known in Philip: one with a Greek name)
Yes, Lord! Simon is right! Why is it that the national government always focus and develop Luzon, Luzon, Luzon! We, here in Mindanao, are like the neglected Samaritans and Gentiles! So if you’ll become the President, we will develop Mindanao and perhaps build your Malacanang in Jolo! Jesus for president!
ALL: Jesus for president!
JAMES THE LESSER: (known in James and Thaddeus: could be relatives of Jesus)
Lord, Thaddeus and I are your relatives!
THADDEUS: So isn’t it to our advantage James? Being Jesus’ relatives, I could be the next governor in Pampanga, you could be the next mayor, my wife as the congresswoman and your son as board member!
JAMES THE LESSER: Hahaha! Our whole clan will rule over Pampanga forever! Jesus for president!
ALL: Jesus for president!
THOMAS: (known in Thomas: he doubted)
Wait! Wait! My brothers, I doubt it if our Lord will really win! John the Baptist is also close to the poor, and maybe he has greater chances of winning! But since, you are closer to me Lord, I will vote for you. Jesus for president!
ALL: Jesus for president!
JUDAS: (known in Judas: treasurer of the group; money matters than the perfume)
Lord, how about the Spratly Islands? Don’t you know that we can get so much money from its oil deposits! So, run for presidency Lord! I’ll tell you, we’ll not just earn 30 pieces of silver, but 30 million pesos every week! Jesus for president!
ALL: Jesus for president!
JOHN: (context: the request of James and John)
Lord, once you become President, choose me and my brother James to sit, one at your right and one at your left. Appoint me as Senate President and James as House Speaker. Jesus for President!
(no one from the rest resonated with John, instead, a strong complain)
JAMES THE LESSER: Hey! How dare you say that?! Who do you think you are!
(The rest also shouted in anger. Then Jesus raises his hands silently in front of them, signaling them to keep quiet. Then, he proceeds to one part of the room and gets a basin of water and bends to wash the feet of Judas, and says: )
JESUS: (Mt. 20: 26 – 28) …whoever wishes to be first among you must be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you must be your slave; just as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many…
"LORD, HEAL OUR LAND...”

NO TO CELIBACY?!

NARRATOR: Read the Commisioning of the Twelve: Mark 6: 6b – 9
Ug sa ilang pagpamalik gikan sa apostolate…
NILO D.: Ok na unta kayo ‘tong didto ta sa baryo bah, bibo kayo, daghang tawo, sikat pa gyud kaayo ta sa atong paghalobilo sa mga tawo, dayon sadya kaayo ang Misa. Pero, pag-uli-ay na, mipuli na man ang kamingaw ug kahilom, asa na man sila? Nganong kita na lang man dayon ang nabilin? Ing-ani diay ning kinabuhi-a?! (misulod ang laing grupo)
Uy bai, kumusta inyong apostolate?
LINO: Ay ok kaayo! Timing kaayo nga naa puy mga nursing students sa among gi-exposure-an. Whew! Mga good kaayo bah, lami kaayo i-trabaho, pogi points bah, “Ah si Koya o, buotan kaayo!” Nia gani ko number ni Mitch o! Nah, layo na kaayo sila ug biya sa atoa bay, o yeah!
(pointing towards the other group) O, nganong guol man mo bai?
FRANK: Kinsa gud puy dili masakitan ani! Gikan mi gahatag ug pol. Ed. seminar, kapoy kaayo, tibuok adlaw, amo gyung gihatag among tanang talent, pero pagkahuman, wala man lay ni-congrats namo, naa lagi stipend pero gamay ra pud, gihagoan bya gyud namo ang pagpangandam sa modules bah, wala man lay midayeg! Maypa nang nagtrabaho sa gawas, gamayng kalampusan, allowance dayon, tarpaulin dayon. Hahay, kamingaw sa kinabuhi. Maypa nang mga minyo, naa pay mohilot sa atong abaga inig abot sa balay…
GARCO: Aha! Bitaw no! Puslan mang pare-pareha atong mga gipangbati, unsa kaha kun atong danihon si Hesus nga magminyo na lang ang mga pari! No to celibacy!
TANAN: No to celibacy!
(Miabot na si Hesus)
HESUS: O nia na man diay mo! Kumusta inyong mga lakaw mga igsuon? (tindog tanan, apir tanan kang Hesus)
ALVIN: Tan-awa ang gibuhat ni Kristo mga igsuon, modayon pa ba mo sa inyong plano? Dili na ba igo ni nga mohupay sa inyong mga kakapoy? Tan-awa unsa ka malipayon si Kristo nga mi-welcome ug midayeg kanato taliwala sa iya pung gibati nga kakapoy sa misyon!
GARCO: Ahh, lahi ra gyud bai! Lahi ra gyud ning naay babaye sa atong kinabuhi!
HESUS: O, unsa man nang inyong gilalisan?
GARCO: Ginoo, isip mga ulitawo, ga-uros-uros gyud ning among pagbati nga mahulipan among kalaay ug kamingaw! Busa Ginoo, kami nagahangyo, tuguti na nga maminyo ang mga pari. No to celibacy!
TANAN: No to celibacy!
MARWEN: Ginoo, nganong pugngan pa man gyud nimo ang pari nga makighilawas! Tan-awa si Pedro oh! Tua sa ilaha, nihapit kadyot sa iyang asawa! Gikapoy man to, pero sigurado ko nga nawala na gyud tong iyang kakapoy ba! Ka-lami ra man gyud unta Lord! No to celibacy!
TANAN: No to celibacy!
TOTO G.: Ginoo, kabalo ka unsa ka bililhon para sa usa ka laki ang adunay asawa ug anak. Nah, kinsa na lay mag-atiman namo kun matigulang na mi! No to celibacy!
NILO D.: Ginoo, wala ka ba makabantay, sige’g pangidhat si Marta nimo? Wala ka ba mibati ug kaibog bisan kinsa nila Marta, Maria o Magdalena? Mga gwapa kaayo sila Ginoo! Kwarta na naging bato pa! Kami gani, mosaka dayon ang lala sa among utok inig kakita namo ug mga hubag sa ketkai! No to celibacy!
TANAN: No to celibacy!
FRANK: Wala ba kamo makabantay mga igsuon? Bisan maot kaayo’g dagway ang pari, pero humot gihapon sa mga dalaga diba! Pa-anotong-anotong ra ning dagwaya ni, pero daghang orchids ang motapot ani bah! Sige na Lord! Ipaminyo na mi samtang pari na mi! No to celibacy!
TANAN: No to celibacy!
CLIFFORD: Ginoo, naay nagpa-counsel nako karon, nagproblema sa iyang bana. Ginoo, kun musogot ka nga magminyo ko, nah mahatag gyud nako ang tanan nga iyang gipangita sa usa ka bana! Alang sa kaluwasan sa mga biyuda! No to celibacy!
TANAN: No to celibacy!
MARWEN: Ginoo, wala ka ba masayod unsa kadaghan na ang mga kaso sa pedophilia ug sexual harassments sa mga kaparian didto sa America karon? Ginoo, di makaya’g pugong-pugong uy! Daghan na kaayong mga scandal! Maluoy ka sa mga pari Ginoo! No to celibacy!
TANAN: No to celibacy! Bitaw Ginoo! Sige na Lord! Maluoy ka!
HESUS: Mga igsuon…tala…kuyog ta…moadto ta ilang Marta, Maria ug Lazaro…ato silang bisita-on…mangisnak ta didto…
(mitagbo ang duha ka babaye, migakos kang Hesus, ug kalit mihilak…dayon adunay mibalita)
NILO L. Ginoo, patay na si Lazaro!
(miluhod si Hesus ug mihilak, nagpabilin ang duha ka baye nga nagtindog ug nanampong sa ilang mga nawong)
ALVIN: Mga igsuon, tan-awa ninyo si Hesus. Karon nasayod na kita nganong gidala kita niya dinhi. Sa natural ug gawasnon nga paagi, iyang gipakita unsa ka way sukod ang iyang pagmahal ngadto nilang Marta, Maria ug Lazaro…pagka-bulahan nila..pagka-bulahan sab nato. Wala siyay gipili, ma-babaye, ma-lalaki, ma-bata o tigulang – tanan iyang gimahal nga walay ni bisan gamayng halo nga malisya o kalaw-ay. Tinuod gayud, siya gyud ang pinaka-modelo sa usa ka tawo nga bisan nag-inusara, malipayon ug gawasnon gihapon nga mihigugma; maliapyon ug gawasnon gihapon nga mi-alagad…

(All gather together and sing the 1st verse and chorus of the song “Your Heart Today”)

YES TO CELIBACY!!!

“DON’T JUST GIVE THEM FISH; TEACH THEM HOW TO CATCH FISH”

That time, I still questioned “WHY?” The news about the death of a 21-year old student who joined a militant group came closely after I finished writing my homily for January 11. I felt so frustrated upon realizing that my words were too shallow compared to the real grounded immersions these people are experiencing. So I thought of changing the content of my homily in order to match the news event’s heavy impact as regards missiology. But after a deep reflection, I was able to conclude, “No, I will deliver this homily as is, except for just a basic yet significant group of words which I will add to the end part”. What was the bold word? FORMATION. And I quote the exact words: “Let us continue our advocacies and rescue more people through the very example of Jesus AND THROUGH THE FORMATION THAT WE LEARN FROM THE SEMINARY. Mao unta kana atong pukot o inspirasyon sa atong pagpanagat”; otherwise, people will misinterpret what Jesus intensively shared with the less fortunate, and thus become fundamentalists.
This experience is just one of the many realizations as to what my vision of PEACE in Mindanao is. And my keyword for peace is formation: EDUCATION. And here are more of my realizations:
The series and seemingly-never-ending killings and kidnappings by militant groups made me wish that an atomic bomb should have been dropped to exterminate ALL Muslims. Though the degree of my prejudice and bias was not that intense compared probably to those living in Basilan, I, an Iliganon, still grew up instilled with fear and biases possibly due to some elders’ and environment’s passed-on attitude against the Muslims. But thankfully, it never ended there. For just recently, a modular course on Islam and Inter-Religious Dialogue and a few personal experiences gradually cleared the log off my eyes. Experiencing life with the very kind and patient NGO social worker Asimah during our GY Pastoral Formation program was one transformative experience. Encountering a very generous and kind old Muslim woman who offered me a vacant seat in the bus added more flavor to the excellent re-evangelization our well-grounded professors shared with us during our Islam class sessions. Honestly and thankfully, my prejudices and biases against Muslims were gradually gone; for I soon realized that just as there are not-so-good Christians, there too are billions of kind Muslims. Knowledge and experience: they became my teachers. They formed me anew. EDUCATION.
I was given the privilege to give a recollection with the Umayamnon Tribe student scholars of Tatay Mat Sanchez, SJ during my Ministry Year as a teacher and kuya at Cabanglasan Bukidnon last 2007. Their presence at school with a majority of Bisaya innately affected their self-esteems. With a whole heart, God made me able to express to the young Lumads what our Church constantly advocates: “equality in dignity”…to go to school, to play, to enjoy their youthful life. Until now, it’s a process. They’ll soon grow, and we see hope. EDUCATION.
Since I was a child, I thought peace is merely an absence of war. Later, I realized, that in this universe, there will always be differences; as there are different parts in a body. That’s why Jesus calls for unity. It is on one’s failure or negligence to see what good is to be done in the midst of differences. How distressing will it then become for Muslim elementary pupils to grow with still the DISCRIMINATION in mind upon seeing on a poster of their classroom wall a very clear insensitive information: PAMBANSANG PAGKAIN: LECHON (As shared with us by Fr. Paul, and I affirm!). EDUCATION.
Part of the question I asked in prayer (following the news event of the young student who joined a militant group and was killed last December) was, “Up to what level do we give our whole selves to mission? What or who should be our root principle? How did Fr. Angel, SJ lived out his mission for 41 years at Ipil without becoming a revolutionist?” I could ask well-grounded missiologists like Sr. Fe for these. But in my reflection, I believe Fr. Angel have the mission basics that sustained him. On the FAITH part, Fr. Angel simply knew how to PRAY. Because when one prays, he knows that he can’t do everything. Beyond his human capacities, he has to submit his will, freedom, memories, all that he has to GOD’s will and love. Padre has experienced being forgiven, so he too learned how to forgive and love enemies. And on the GROUND part, I am sure padre underwent a wholistic formation long before he became a priest that transformed him into a more compassionate servant. He was taught. FAITH. EDUCATION.
Allow me to express my vision of peace in myself. This, I believe, may help in attaining PEACE in larger contexts if only individuals allow themselves to be formed from within first. I have personal issues; dates back to the hang-ups and deprivations I experienced as a child. But thanks to the Human Formation in the seminary, the Priestly Growth Accompaniment with Ate Venus G. helped me a lot in opening my whole self naked before the process of healing. Consequently, I was brought to the awareness of my issues, then beginning to accept them and still on the patient process of taming my wild issues. Without the formation, I could not see this and continue to be superficial to my very self. Without the formation, I could not learn that ASSERTIVENESS (as with the active non-violence of Christ and Gandhi) is the best tool for peace within me, and NOT AGGRESSION. If only each individual is given the chance to practice assertiveness, then PEACE in our place would no longer be that far to reach. See how EDUCATION matters.
I once thought of DEVELOPMENT as one of the best tools for peace: fighting poverty! Yes, in fact, I am an advocate for that. But if we go deeper to its roots; it still points out fundamentally to EDUCATION first. You can’t plant rice on an unearthed stiff soil.
Fundamentalists still want to claim what they strongly believe was lost from them: the land of MINDANAO. If only they were properly educated before, they would realize that lands are shared, not owned selfishly. I love to teach and so I see how badly-needed, essential and noble teachers are! Silsilah, pious NGOs, POs, academes, sincere government leaders, Church leaders – we may not be able to straighten “bent old trees” anymore, but there’s still so much brimming hope if we SOUNDLY educate our future Muslims, Christians and Lumads of Mindanao. EDUCATION goes beyond religion. Yes, differences are always there. Bullets will soon be history. The chalk, tongue, heart and good hands were, are, and will always be the armor of PEACE. And so we pray, may the fire of our passion to educate be not extinguished.
Mama Mary, Queen of Peace, PRAY FOR US.

FOOLS FOR CHRIST, a homily

I would like you now to re-imagine the gruesome, heartless, inhumane November 23 massacre of 57 people in Maguindanao. Heads were shot. There were women; harmless yet slaughtered and buried like pigs. Then suddenly, we would just learn few weeks from now that the case is dissolved or the real murderers are found NOT guilty. Nah! What if that happens? Will you still continue advocating for truth and justice given the obvious dim situation? If yes, then expect someone will tell you “FOOL! Gahago-hagu ra ka!”
Allow me to use again these radical yet valid words which I believe are not new to us – i.e., to become a FOOL FOR CHRIST (I know these words sound harsh, and I’m really sorry if I’m going to use them again. I simply just would like to emphasize how radical and deep God’s love is).
In the first place, who initiated all these “foolishness”? Who went down from the glorious heavens just to be born like one of his vulnerable and weak creations? Who was the one who said that if someone slaps you on one cheek, you also give your other cheek? Who was the one who still chose a humiliating death rather than practically leading a revolution with the Jews? No other than JESUS! And see how this “foolishness” spread like bacteria into the lives of his first disciples: The fishermen chose to become even poorer (or poorest) by leaving their nets (their only little livelihood) and followed Jesus. And see how this “foolishness” spread even faster and wider like a Trojan virus into the lives of people living 2009 years after his birth: Let us remember the very striking heroism of an unrecognized 18-year old Muelmar Magallanes who saved over 30 people from Ondoy’s raging floods in Quezon City. Finally, he heard a scream: a mother and her baby on a Styrofoam box slowly being swept away. He was able to save the mother and the baby, but ended up not being able to save himself due to exhaustion. See his generosity! See his “foolishness”! Pobre na syang daan; he could have stopped doing such things after securing the safety of his family, but still ended up embracing death. He was not given a CNN hero award like Peñaflorida. We believe that his reward will be great in heaven. The word in our Gospel today: “This is the time of FULFILLMENT” (Fulfillment, meaning, that the salvific plan of the Father has been FULFILLED in His Son through His birth. Or Jesus as LIGHT over darkness) is Muelmar’s most valuable trophy.
We too have foolish hearts. I heard some of us said, “Kulang kaayo bakasyon bai. Nakulangan siguro sa kaon ug inom sessions.” How foolish we are! The world is still offering us amounts of pleasure to satisfy our very human longings. And here we are, MOBALIK gyud! Even though our coming back to the seminary requires us to continue making our pending or piling-up reflection papers. Si Dongkoy nga sa iyang pangidarong 31 anyos mobangon pa’g sayo, manghugas pa’g plato, mohawid pa’g silhig. And we’ll soon be facing naughty students in our catechisms and recollections; and here we are, staying humble and patient. Some of our FY5 brothers will again continue preaching about good elections in parishes despite the seemingly-dili-na-matambalan nga corruption sa nasud.
Why do the 34-year old RicBacs and the 31-year old Cliffy still want to stay in the seminary? Why do they still want to become priests for Jolo and Basilan? I think, we don’t essentially need Good Seminarian Awards or CNN Hero Awards to inspire us to stay here. I believe this is our one great fundamental reason: If we are going to re-phrase the last sentence of our 1st reading today, then this is what Jesus will surely assure us, “Bong, why is your heart sad? Am I not MORE to you than the very powerful forces of the world?
My brothers and sister, let us stay FOOLS for Christ. Let us continue our advocacies and RESCUE more people through the very example of Jesus and through the formation that we learn from the seminary. Mao unta kana atong pukot o inspirasyon sa atong pagpanagat.

"end in mind", a homily, Lk. 17:26-37

Who says eating and drinking are bad? If eating and drinking are, in themselves, essential to our daily survival, then what was in the eating, drinking and merry-making of the people in Noah and Lot’s time that caused their destruction by flood and fire? It was because they were imprisoned and so not yet ready to let go of the extravagance and excesses of their merry-making when God called them to follow His designs. The teaching of Jesus which says, “…whoever loses his life will save it” would not make sense to these kind of people. “Kalami ra aning kinabuhi-a ah!” And as a result, it ended their lives. Now, if we are going to describe such events using the beautiful message of our 1st reading today, we would see that the people (in Noah and Lot’s time) were not able to see, through their extravagant possessions, the One who is most important. They gradually forgot to acknowledge the Creator and source of all those possessions that they had. They soon got hooked (imprisoned) only to the beauty and enjoyment of things. They weren’t able to transcend anymore. Those earthly things gradually became their idols and gods. They could not simply let those treasures go. They soon forgot that they don’t need those things to please God.
Now, in our seminary context, who says that competition is unhealthy? Being competitive is healthy; it is when we compete because of envy at other’s success that makes it unhealthy and superficial. Who says that having a benefactor is unhealthy? It will never be. What makes it unhealthy is when we unreasonably exploit more benefactors to satisfy our extravagant lifestyle. Who says that acquiring a cell phone is unhealthy? It is not, unless it is used for offensive messages and overtakes our time for study. Who says that having friends is unhealthy? It is even essential. What makes it unhealthy is when we compete in accumulating friends out of envy and jealousy at other’s natural gift of friendliness and nurturance. Who says that money is evil? It will not be, if we learn to use them wisely because we are aware that our parents and benefactors really worked hard for it.
Thus, as what was presented in our 1st reading and Gospel, we too can be blinded and imprisoned by the prestige and alluring beauty of these things. We too can gradually forget the SIMPLICITY that our vocation calls us to be.
2-time world champion (in the field of marathon) Kenyan Robert Cheruiyot said in Time magazine about a skill he uses in marathon: “When the lion is chasing the deer (antelope), he doesn’t look back; he has to eat.” In the art of marathon, when you look back to see how far or near your opponent is, you will be wasting amounts of energy for what is not necessary and competitive. Runners would just run and run and aim for the finish line. To use Fr. Frank’s words, they run “with the end in mind”.
What makes us “look back” (in bisaya: gapanglingi, nag-alanganin, adunay gikawilihan) brothers? What makes people compete unreasonably; what makes people exploit benefactors and friends; what makes people unjustly waste money; what makes us not focused on our finish line? One of these would be our self-centeredness and egoistic tendencies that makes us feel insecure and envious which, if left untreated, these issues will become like a treasure – lisod na buhi-an.
My brothers, we don’t have to wait for the time for us to become priests in order to avail of the assist and healing programs. PREPAREDNESS TO DO THE DEMANDS OF DISCIPLESHIP must be practiced here as early as now; as soon as possible. GA, cleanliness, punctuality in our liturgical activities, punctuality in our apostolates must be availed and nurtured now.
For then, if we are already prepared to run the race without looking back at our “opponents” (our issues), then walay masayang nga energy; we’ll have all the energy, strength and power to reach for the finish line, to the holiness and wholeness that we aim as priests. Jesus calls us now, “whoever seeks to preserve his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life will save it.”
So, my brothers, when the Lord calls us to do mission, are we ready to let go of whatever hinders us to follow Him anytime, and go beyond it? Are we aware of the consequences of rejection and hardships, so are we ready to embrace them when they come anytime? Let us ask the Lord for that grace. Again, my brothers, allow me to read back the lines of the Kenyan marathoner Robert Cheruiyot: “When the lion is chasing the deer, he doesn’t look back; he has to eat.”

tambay lang jun...

Grace of God and Human Effort. Inseparable. SD and VPGA. Inseparable.
First of all, allow me to express my earnest gratitude and joy for being given the privilege and chance to have a regular session in SD and VPGA. I really (even badly) needed them, and my prayers were heard! Thank you dear directors for being so professional, gifted and patient!
Chaos was dominant these past weeks. Questions I no longer expected and questions I thought were already answered long before – called back. I was just simply used to show to people the “sweet and smooth” image in me. There were a lot of things that my actions used to “sweet-lemon” the sour parts. Academic and artistic excellence was among these. Those were among what people praise and say of me. Then, GY came. I could no longer hide. All my life, I was used to hide behind good images, but during that time I wasn’t able; no academic to cover them up. With no place to hide, the “child” just dropped his head in shame, fear and vulnerability. GY helped me, raised my head and assured me. Then came the following year. What a busy academic and community life. I was worried GY would go to waste since the issues were now matched back with my used-to-be hiding partners: academic, talent, and office. But GY had prudently prepared things up. For these past months, though already in the midst of busy academics and community functions, issues even made their presence all the more. I could no longer separate the two sides. The “child” insistently wanted my attention, he needs to be tapped, and this time, to be fully attended to, as if saying, “Kuya, it’s time to let all the TRUTH come out”. With these hard questions and facing of realities…why now?! But issues are still there, even “wilder” than ever. Look at me, inside the GA room, those walls know how vulnerable and naked I am…the other side of me which people never know; the side which I, affected by history and so through my actions indirectly and spontaneously, hated to expose. Yes, even though I get drained and exhausted after every session, it leaves me light-hearted: someone has listened, though the part of hesitation and the two extremes of spiritualization and rationalization are challenged and striven to be overcome. And thanks to my body, he never leaves me; he helps in absorbing the pressures I feel. I’m getting heard now. I’m getting treated now.
It was only this time that I began to deepen more and more the appreciation of how SD and GA sail together. Allow me to concretize such realization by sharing my recent significant experience last Friday during the Holy Hour. Three quarters of the time were spent in a complex of imaginations. But when the last quarter came, spontaneously did come out the unified feelings of exhaustion, which brought me to tears: the general (1 sem) feeling of tiredness in my office, the general feeling of restlessness in my academic part, the physical busy-ness and anxiety I felt after tediously preparing a lot of rooms and beds to accommodate my Iligan and Dipolog younger brothers, and the overall feeling of exhaustion, impatience, and frustration that I felt to the issues within me for being so “insistent” despite the weighty series of GAs and SDs, I just felt so weak and helpless as I gazed upon the Sacrament Most Holy. With a heavy shoulder, my mouth just uttered: “Lord, gikapoy ko! Gusto ko mopahuway! Going out of the seminary will not cater this “rest” that I need because the issues will still be with me wherever I go. I want that “rest” not just the literal one, but a “rest” that I can still get even though I’m working, what is that “rest” Lord? How?...” A few moments later, I just found myself sitting on a bench in front of very wide, beautiful, refreshing landscape of nature; like gazing upon the early-morning fresh Cabanglasan mountains and trees of green. I was just reclining free-style like a “tambay”. And, surprisingly, beside me was Christ. Whenever I look at him, he would just also look and smile at me. When I return to gazing upon nature, he would also do the same, just so relaxed and light, no words. I even became worried, because I don’t have a word to utter, but he was just there, patiently waiting when I’ll be going to speak…” I could feel He’s telling and showing me something; my recent session made me aware of that. It’s as if through His actions, He wants to tell me to re-examine what I see and pre-judge in others: |Look at me Jun…what do you think…gikapoy ug gipul-an kaha Ko nimo?” This is what you must do to yourself Jun, don’t carry the burden too much…rest...tambay. I believe there’s a lot more of it: more prayer periods, more quality time, more “bench-tambays” with Him; more sight-seeing…”
My companion once said, “Yes, truth will set you free; but before it does, it will disturb you first.” I’m IN! Struggles: ground for change, for something greater. Yes, draining, tiring. Yes, in me are still bits or chunks of fear, shame, insistently committed mistakes… If it’s for my good, God’s glory, and for the Church – I’m IN! “Storya lang! Salig! Maminaw ko! Tabangan ta ka! Be open! Please be patient…rest…Jun, tambay lang…” Thank you very much Human-Spiritual Formation Team!

They offered me the softest bed i've ever laid on

The Father saw everything that He made, it was good, and He was so happy. Jesus grimaced in pain as whips brutally squashed his bloodied, trembling and dying body. The Holy Spirit bound them in love amidst separation and death; and on the resurrection, unity. Joys and sorrows of the Trinity. O Great mystery of LOVE!
Thanksgiving. Anamnesis. Epiclesis. It’s all in the Holy Eucharist. The source and summit. It capsulizes everything. There’s the Food that nourishes a hunger commonly shared by people from all walks of life. That’s why people flock endlessly at the Cathedral or at the Nazareno church, etc. Each one is bringing his/her own unique story. A farmer is all smiles and gratitude for winning in the Swertres. A nanay grieves as she remembered her apo drowned helplessly by the flood. Tears of joy well from the eyes of a young lady as she reminisced the moment she and her baby were finally accepted and reunited with her parents after long months of struggling over the trauma of unwanted pregnancy. Joys and sorrows – though with different stories, come as one. Yes, this may sound ordinary; we may have been used to hearing that. But the fact of integrating such common experience of people who flock into the Church to the very experience of the Trinity, from ad intra to ad extra, seems to be awkward to a paternalistic and superstition-oriented culture. So, with this “Filipinos-are-not-used-to” presentation, we would expect a poor fisherman question, “Didn’t you mention about the “joys and sorrows” of the Santisima Trinidad, at the same time our very human “joys and sorrows”? You mean, God, who is up there, connects with our poverty? Naa diay na nga koneksyon? Or aren’t we just minimalizing the greatness of His power? Isn’t the Santisima Trinidad a mystery that can’t be fathomed? Well, if that’s the case, how then can we be able to connect the two? How can you make us, poor, feel that there’s such a connection?” I myself got intrigued and asked these questions even long before until the first few sessions of the class. Well, I can’t blame myself, this was where I was reared up and this was what I was brought to think, to the extent of looking at God as punisher. Going back, so, how then? Through ME! Through any future servant-leader! (Sorry if I sounded boastful, but I do not really intend to, for I deeply felt that this is one of which a pastor is challenged to do). The Trinity will always be a mystery, and we accept that – unfathomable, hard to grasp; so hard that one Viannista priest preferred to focus and expand the “going-back-to-Galilee-experience-with-Jesus-whenever-we-are-struck-with-problems” message in his homily (of course, I respected his reason of simplification and context for using this other rich and meaningful message). But, what if I were on his shoes, what will I probably share in the homily? Honestly, with the little grasp of knowledge that I had that time since before, I would still probably give the same content (actually, I had been affirming and nodding during the homily since it resonated excellently to my still-fresh and brimming GY formation experience). Now, the class which really focused on the Trinity had ended. Indeed, I learned ever more than I expected; the competence of the professor, the simplifications, the nexus mysteriorum to the other aspects particularly the social dimensions, the lively interactions, honest sharing of limitations and insufficiencies regarding the doctrines, the presence of grounded lay persons, etc. – displayed the brilliance and excellence: One of the “full-of-surprises” grace of God that I received. There was more to say then, about the Trinity despite the limited grasp. So, what if I were to deliver a homily about this “considered-untouchable-and-hard-truth” to a far-flung simple barrio in our place? What if I were to enlighten the fisherman’s confusion? Then, at first, I thought it would be absolute to give a full-packed doctrine about it (yes, probably I could, with God’s grace, depending on the context). But, later, I was just put back in “discontentment” upon realizing that the Holy Trinity, through the class, has prepared instead a very simple, “already-there-in-every-heart” homily understandable and connectable even to the lowliest fellows far away (I was reminded of Coelho’s The Alchemist). God allowed me to see that. The message is already there pala in the hearts of the poor; I even am experiencing it – it was barely due to the fact that WE ARE NOT SIMPLY AWARE because it’s just ordinarily lived everyday; never that complicated.
Giver. Given. Gift-ing. Allow me to start in this light. Joys and pains in the Trinity. He laughs, He cries, He binds deep separations in love. “Manong, He’s not at all paternalistic, authoritarian, absolutely untouchable.” Love: His very initiative of “emptying Himself and taking the form of a slave” just to be in our own state. “He’s name is Emmanuel, Manong!”
Joys and pains in the squatter community. Children and adults (even drunk) dance on the street with festive hearts on Christmas Day despite the neighborhood’s cracking and busting sound of the cheap and brand-imitated speakers. Crime is uncontrollable due to poverty and drugs. Tension, grief and uncertainty ruled over the news that their tiny, constricted houses will be demolished. A relocation site led them to start anew with a spark of hope.
Isn’t God doing the initiative of making us feel that He’s one of us in the joys and pains of life?! That itself is a GIFT! With that, a poor widow realizes that despite the complexities of her life, she has been GIVEN the GIFT and is constantly receiving the GIFTING from the GIVER. And thus, spontaneously and over flowingly goes out from her the generosity to hope and share the gift more than she received. A simple assurance of presence was good enough for her to give more than just presence. The squatter community made me realize that there was more than any food on every meal. It was the laughter and openness of heart to share stories that made our stomachs truly full as we gather and share a few bulad and sinugba. True generosity, indeed; goes beyond a catering service. They offered me the softest bed I’ve ever laid on: Worn-out pillows and habol matched the pinagtagping mosquito net and old banig on top of their shaking bamboo floor. Precisely the softest bed because it was prepared with an undivided heart. And the month-long sojourn was concluded with tears as the small community really waited with me on the side walk as we waited for the jeep to fetch me; and later handed me a handful of coins for pabaon with these striking words, “Ayaw bya mi kalimti Jun ha…” how could my heart not squeeze in the sorrow of goodbyes and the longing to see them back as the same community when in fact they would separate ways after the demolition. I missed them so much! What was even more striking was when we were already taking pictures after the graduation rite in the seminary, a small package wrapped in ordinary paper was handed on to me. I was so surprised to see them so happy for me, handing the gift with all humility and shyness. It was a traveling bag they secretly saved for me. “We hope Jun you’ll bring this bag as you proceed to your next journey”. That was the only gift I received on my graduation day, and they’re even coming from a community unknown and even despised by the some in the society. My being one of the “given” was limited, but they returned it much more than what was given to them. There is indeed “no poor as to have nothing to give”! Jesus gave more than what he had as a poor carpenter’s son – his very life!
Were they aware of that? I would never ever claim that through our presence there they changed; for long before we came there, it’s already in them, only that, they might not be aware of that. They may not always be present at Mass, but through God’s grace He made them do it, and through such grace and experience of the generosity of God in me, I was able to see that in them. The Giver, Given, and Gift-ing just spontaneously touch their lives and assure them of His presence and oneness in the joys and pains of daily life, and so does generosity naturally flows from them. Last summer, as I was seated on one of the seats in our little Chapel during the Mass, a poor family came in and sat beside me. As I looked at them, tears just streamed from my eyes upon seeing how they really tried to dress formally and decently despite the faded clothings and repaired shoes they had, and the simple aroma of the Johnsons and Johnson’s baby powder and cologne they could only afford to use – while I only dress in casual clothes and slippers. I could clearly see in the Father’s though pitiful eyes the responsibility and commitment to bring his wife and kids to Mass. What a father! See the generosity of offering the best out of simplicity just for the Lord! Even concretely was the very striking heroism of an unrecognized 18-year old construction worker Muelmar Magallanes who saved over 30 people from Ondoy’s raging floods in Quezon City. Finally, he heard a scream: a mother and her baby on a Styrofoam box slowly being swept away. He was able to save the mother and the baby, but he ended up not being able to save himself due to exhaustion (PDI, 19/29/09). See his generosity! Sounds familiar eh! – Bravely saving other people even though it means risking his life. Was he aware of it? He may not be that much aware of that because it was already in him; he’s living with it everyday, the grace of God never selects, even a mere construction worker. What he was absolutely aware of was the fact that God gave him ever-supportive parents that despite poverty still saw and made him aware of the goodness and intrinsic value in him; so clear in his father and mother’s testimony after his death: “He always had a good heart,” and “incredibly brave”. Consequently, the generosity to share his gift of risking his life just to help others just sparked and flowed from him spontaneously and voluntarily! He acted without one commanding him to, isn’t it a habit of grace; so moral in his way! He could have chosen autonomy, but still ended up embracing the risk and surrendered everything to God. In the life of the Trinity is communion, not autonomy. His death of self was honored as sharing in the Paschal Mystery of Christ that led him to his destiny: Life and communion with the triune God! Indeed, he received grace not just a help for him but actually elevated him to the level of transforming his being more and more in the image and likeness of God. He received the GIFT; so now, he was the one giving what was freely given to him. The whirlpool of love! See the grammar of gift!
Millions of these heroes are still alive today, and unrecognizably go to the Church everyday or on Sundays. And these same people experience the joys and pains of life; faith and hope are even shaken. One of them will probably be like Nelson Tobillo who after losing her 12-year old daughter due to Ondoy’s wrath, cried in agony, “He (God) shouldn’t have given us 12 years if it would just be taken from us!” (PDI, 09/30/09). Yes, I know, it would still be difficult for these victims to grasp the truth about the Trinity’s sharing of pain with them. For now, the presence, the just-being-there, the touch and embrace helps a lot, hope they’ll soon see the sharing-of-God-in-pain through these people. How can I, as a future pastor, be of a link and instrument to them, not just to these recent victims but to the whole Church as well who flock for prayer and alleviation? I may not be able to stroke every back always or tap every shoulder. Some will just see me stretching my hands soon as I celebrate Mass. Seen or felt, may I be a GIFT to these people. Let me conform my very life first to the very image and likeness of the Triune God. My joys and pains to Their joys and pains.
Mama expressed in tears for our Manoy who left us for a while a few years ago, “I will never lose hope Jun…” In the end, I still couldn’t really grasp, couldn’t contain my being with such awe and wonder on the fact that when God touches one in grace, he would just allow the person to utter “HOPE” and act “BRAVELY”!
Let this LOVE diffuse.