My dear brothers in Christ, what would you feel if you will be asked to do something that you feel incapable of doing? Maybe, most of us if not all, would feel anxious about it. This is exactly what I felt when the school director appointed me as C.A.T. commandant during my ministry year in Cabanglasan, Bukidnon three years ago. I said to myself, how can this be since I don’t look like a typical commandant who appears as someone who is tough, strict and short-tempered? I don’t even know how to demonstrate or teach the students the proper way of folding the flag during flag ceremonies!
But in this feeling of inadequacy, my school director just told me to try to pretend or act like a performer on a stage. Initially, I tried to follow his advice but later on I tried to carry out my responsibility as C.A.T. commandant by being myself. I just allowed the gentle, calm and joyful Brother Jun to relate with the students. Gradually, I realized that to be an effective C.A.T. commandant, I need not pretend to be somebody else.
In our gospel reading today, Jesus accused the Pharisees for pretending to be somebody else in observing the three great pillars (almsgiving, praying, and fasting) on which good life of the Jews is based just for the sake of earning rewards. My dear brothers in Christ, it is not what we do that matters most but the motivation behind it. Motivation is very essential in our spiritual growth. One of the greatest temptations of those people who are developing in their spiritual life is when one does the right thing but with a wrong motivation.
It can happen that, like the Pharisees, we are often seen as very faithful in going to the chapel for our prayers. Or may be so dedicated in our apostolate or very hard-working in our studies. But it is good to ask the question, why? Why are we doing it? Are we regular in our prayers because we want to deepen our personal intimate relationship with God OR we just want to please our formators so that we won’t be sent out from the seminary? Are we dedicated in our apostolate because we want to be instruments of God’s loving presence to our students and other people OR because we simply just wanted to strengthen our fans club or gain praises and appreciations by the people we served? Are we working hard in our studies because of our noble desire that our parishioners soon may grow in their knowledge of God OR we just want to be known as graduates with magnas and summas? Wala gyuy laing makatubag niining maong mga pangutana gawas lamang sa atong kaugalingon. Our growth in holiness depends so much on the purity of our motivation. I am very sure that all of us in this chapel no matter how sincerely we try our best to do the right thing with the right motivation, we still do have not-so-pure motivations in doing the best things in and outside the seminary. But motivations can be purified gradually. How? Tulo ka butang: Una, the purification (cleansing) of our not-so-pure motivations begins first with our awareness of our inconsistencies, as what we have learned (or will learn) in our human and spiritual formation sessions. Second, with our patience, gentleness to self and humility to accept them. And third, with our solid determination (willpower) nga mo-cooperate gyud sa grasya sa Ginoo in working on this process of integration nga atong kanunay gitinguha, what process of integration? Kana bitawng, sa ngadto-ngadto, ang atong external (makita nga) practice matches with the right motivation inside us; to live a life free from hypocrisy and pretension.
During this mass, let us ask the Lord for the grace of integrity or honesty (o pagkamatinud-anon) so that our vision (nga atong gitinguha) will be seen concretely in our lives. Finally, the reward that comes from hypocrisy is very shallow and passing (ang tawo nga ga-ampo aron makit-an sa pari, molahutay sa usa ka oras apan mag-alipasa) but the joy that comes from a sincere heart who does the right thing with the right motivation is deep and lasting. Oo, challenging, but let us be assured, as today’s responsorial psalm emphatically assures us, “Let your hearts take comfort, all who hope in the Lord”.
