"end in mind", a homily, Lk. 17:26-37

Who says eating and drinking are bad? If eating and drinking are, in themselves, essential to our daily survival, then what was in the eating, drinking and merry-making of the people in Noah and Lot’s time that caused their destruction by flood and fire? It was because they were imprisoned and so not yet ready to let go of the extravagance and excesses of their merry-making when God called them to follow His designs. The teaching of Jesus which says, “…whoever loses his life will save it” would not make sense to these kind of people. “Kalami ra aning kinabuhi-a ah!” And as a result, it ended their lives. Now, if we are going to describe such events using the beautiful message of our 1st reading today, we would see that the people (in Noah and Lot’s time) were not able to see, through their extravagant possessions, the One who is most important. They gradually forgot to acknowledge the Creator and source of all those possessions that they had. They soon got hooked (imprisoned) only to the beauty and enjoyment of things. They weren’t able to transcend anymore. Those earthly things gradually became their idols and gods. They could not simply let those treasures go. They soon forgot that they don’t need those things to please God.
Now, in our seminary context, who says that competition is unhealthy? Being competitive is healthy; it is when we compete because of envy at other’s success that makes it unhealthy and superficial. Who says that having a benefactor is unhealthy? It will never be. What makes it unhealthy is when we unreasonably exploit more benefactors to satisfy our extravagant lifestyle. Who says that acquiring a cell phone is unhealthy? It is not, unless it is used for offensive messages and overtakes our time for study. Who says that having friends is unhealthy? It is even essential. What makes it unhealthy is when we compete in accumulating friends out of envy and jealousy at other’s natural gift of friendliness and nurturance. Who says that money is evil? It will not be, if we learn to use them wisely because we are aware that our parents and benefactors really worked hard for it.
Thus, as what was presented in our 1st reading and Gospel, we too can be blinded and imprisoned by the prestige and alluring beauty of these things. We too can gradually forget the SIMPLICITY that our vocation calls us to be.
2-time world champion (in the field of marathon) Kenyan Robert Cheruiyot said in Time magazine about a skill he uses in marathon: “When the lion is chasing the deer (antelope), he doesn’t look back; he has to eat.” In the art of marathon, when you look back to see how far or near your opponent is, you will be wasting amounts of energy for what is not necessary and competitive. Runners would just run and run and aim for the finish line. To use Fr. Frank’s words, they run “with the end in mind”.
What makes us “look back” (in bisaya: gapanglingi, nag-alanganin, adunay gikawilihan) brothers? What makes people compete unreasonably; what makes people exploit benefactors and friends; what makes people unjustly waste money; what makes us not focused on our finish line? One of these would be our self-centeredness and egoistic tendencies that makes us feel insecure and envious which, if left untreated, these issues will become like a treasure – lisod na buhi-an.
My brothers, we don’t have to wait for the time for us to become priests in order to avail of the assist and healing programs. PREPAREDNESS TO DO THE DEMANDS OF DISCIPLESHIP must be practiced here as early as now; as soon as possible. GA, cleanliness, punctuality in our liturgical activities, punctuality in our apostolates must be availed and nurtured now.
For then, if we are already prepared to run the race without looking back at our “opponents” (our issues), then walay masayang nga energy; we’ll have all the energy, strength and power to reach for the finish line, to the holiness and wholeness that we aim as priests. Jesus calls us now, “whoever seeks to preserve his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life will save it.”
So, my brothers, when the Lord calls us to do mission, are we ready to let go of whatever hinders us to follow Him anytime, and go beyond it? Are we aware of the consequences of rejection and hardships, so are we ready to embrace them when they come anytime? Let us ask the Lord for that grace. Again, my brothers, allow me to read back the lines of the Kenyan marathoner Robert Cheruiyot: “When the lion is chasing the deer, he doesn’t look back; he has to eat.”

tambay lang jun...

Grace of God and Human Effort. Inseparable. SD and VPGA. Inseparable.
First of all, allow me to express my earnest gratitude and joy for being given the privilege and chance to have a regular session in SD and VPGA. I really (even badly) needed them, and my prayers were heard! Thank you dear directors for being so professional, gifted and patient!
Chaos was dominant these past weeks. Questions I no longer expected and questions I thought were already answered long before – called back. I was just simply used to show to people the “sweet and smooth” image in me. There were a lot of things that my actions used to “sweet-lemon” the sour parts. Academic and artistic excellence was among these. Those were among what people praise and say of me. Then, GY came. I could no longer hide. All my life, I was used to hide behind good images, but during that time I wasn’t able; no academic to cover them up. With no place to hide, the “child” just dropped his head in shame, fear and vulnerability. GY helped me, raised my head and assured me. Then came the following year. What a busy academic and community life. I was worried GY would go to waste since the issues were now matched back with my used-to-be hiding partners: academic, talent, and office. But GY had prudently prepared things up. For these past months, though already in the midst of busy academics and community functions, issues even made their presence all the more. I could no longer separate the two sides. The “child” insistently wanted my attention, he needs to be tapped, and this time, to be fully attended to, as if saying, “Kuya, it’s time to let all the TRUTH come out”. With these hard questions and facing of realities…why now?! But issues are still there, even “wilder” than ever. Look at me, inside the GA room, those walls know how vulnerable and naked I am…the other side of me which people never know; the side which I, affected by history and so through my actions indirectly and spontaneously, hated to expose. Yes, even though I get drained and exhausted after every session, it leaves me light-hearted: someone has listened, though the part of hesitation and the two extremes of spiritualization and rationalization are challenged and striven to be overcome. And thanks to my body, he never leaves me; he helps in absorbing the pressures I feel. I’m getting heard now. I’m getting treated now.
It was only this time that I began to deepen more and more the appreciation of how SD and GA sail together. Allow me to concretize such realization by sharing my recent significant experience last Friday during the Holy Hour. Three quarters of the time were spent in a complex of imaginations. But when the last quarter came, spontaneously did come out the unified feelings of exhaustion, which brought me to tears: the general (1 sem) feeling of tiredness in my office, the general feeling of restlessness in my academic part, the physical busy-ness and anxiety I felt after tediously preparing a lot of rooms and beds to accommodate my Iligan and Dipolog younger brothers, and the overall feeling of exhaustion, impatience, and frustration that I felt to the issues within me for being so “insistent” despite the weighty series of GAs and SDs, I just felt so weak and helpless as I gazed upon the Sacrament Most Holy. With a heavy shoulder, my mouth just uttered: “Lord, gikapoy ko! Gusto ko mopahuway! Going out of the seminary will not cater this “rest” that I need because the issues will still be with me wherever I go. I want that “rest” not just the literal one, but a “rest” that I can still get even though I’m working, what is that “rest” Lord? How?...” A few moments later, I just found myself sitting on a bench in front of very wide, beautiful, refreshing landscape of nature; like gazing upon the early-morning fresh Cabanglasan mountains and trees of green. I was just reclining free-style like a “tambay”. And, surprisingly, beside me was Christ. Whenever I look at him, he would just also look and smile at me. When I return to gazing upon nature, he would also do the same, just so relaxed and light, no words. I even became worried, because I don’t have a word to utter, but he was just there, patiently waiting when I’ll be going to speak…” I could feel He’s telling and showing me something; my recent session made me aware of that. It’s as if through His actions, He wants to tell me to re-examine what I see and pre-judge in others: |Look at me Jun…what do you think…gikapoy ug gipul-an kaha Ko nimo?” This is what you must do to yourself Jun, don’t carry the burden too much…rest...tambay. I believe there’s a lot more of it: more prayer periods, more quality time, more “bench-tambays” with Him; more sight-seeing…”
My companion once said, “Yes, truth will set you free; but before it does, it will disturb you first.” I’m IN! Struggles: ground for change, for something greater. Yes, draining, tiring. Yes, in me are still bits or chunks of fear, shame, insistently committed mistakes… If it’s for my good, God’s glory, and for the Church – I’m IN! “Storya lang! Salig! Maminaw ko! Tabangan ta ka! Be open! Please be patient…rest…Jun, tambay lang…” Thank you very much Human-Spiritual Formation Team!

They offered me the softest bed i've ever laid on

The Father saw everything that He made, it was good, and He was so happy. Jesus grimaced in pain as whips brutally squashed his bloodied, trembling and dying body. The Holy Spirit bound them in love amidst separation and death; and on the resurrection, unity. Joys and sorrows of the Trinity. O Great mystery of LOVE!
Thanksgiving. Anamnesis. Epiclesis. It’s all in the Holy Eucharist. The source and summit. It capsulizes everything. There’s the Food that nourishes a hunger commonly shared by people from all walks of life. That’s why people flock endlessly at the Cathedral or at the Nazareno church, etc. Each one is bringing his/her own unique story. A farmer is all smiles and gratitude for winning in the Swertres. A nanay grieves as she remembered her apo drowned helplessly by the flood. Tears of joy well from the eyes of a young lady as she reminisced the moment she and her baby were finally accepted and reunited with her parents after long months of struggling over the trauma of unwanted pregnancy. Joys and sorrows – though with different stories, come as one. Yes, this may sound ordinary; we may have been used to hearing that. But the fact of integrating such common experience of people who flock into the Church to the very experience of the Trinity, from ad intra to ad extra, seems to be awkward to a paternalistic and superstition-oriented culture. So, with this “Filipinos-are-not-used-to” presentation, we would expect a poor fisherman question, “Didn’t you mention about the “joys and sorrows” of the Santisima Trinidad, at the same time our very human “joys and sorrows”? You mean, God, who is up there, connects with our poverty? Naa diay na nga koneksyon? Or aren’t we just minimalizing the greatness of His power? Isn’t the Santisima Trinidad a mystery that can’t be fathomed? Well, if that’s the case, how then can we be able to connect the two? How can you make us, poor, feel that there’s such a connection?” I myself got intrigued and asked these questions even long before until the first few sessions of the class. Well, I can’t blame myself, this was where I was reared up and this was what I was brought to think, to the extent of looking at God as punisher. Going back, so, how then? Through ME! Through any future servant-leader! (Sorry if I sounded boastful, but I do not really intend to, for I deeply felt that this is one of which a pastor is challenged to do). The Trinity will always be a mystery, and we accept that – unfathomable, hard to grasp; so hard that one Viannista priest preferred to focus and expand the “going-back-to-Galilee-experience-with-Jesus-whenever-we-are-struck-with-problems” message in his homily (of course, I respected his reason of simplification and context for using this other rich and meaningful message). But, what if I were on his shoes, what will I probably share in the homily? Honestly, with the little grasp of knowledge that I had that time since before, I would still probably give the same content (actually, I had been affirming and nodding during the homily since it resonated excellently to my still-fresh and brimming GY formation experience). Now, the class which really focused on the Trinity had ended. Indeed, I learned ever more than I expected; the competence of the professor, the simplifications, the nexus mysteriorum to the other aspects particularly the social dimensions, the lively interactions, honest sharing of limitations and insufficiencies regarding the doctrines, the presence of grounded lay persons, etc. – displayed the brilliance and excellence: One of the “full-of-surprises” grace of God that I received. There was more to say then, about the Trinity despite the limited grasp. So, what if I were to deliver a homily about this “considered-untouchable-and-hard-truth” to a far-flung simple barrio in our place? What if I were to enlighten the fisherman’s confusion? Then, at first, I thought it would be absolute to give a full-packed doctrine about it (yes, probably I could, with God’s grace, depending on the context). But, later, I was just put back in “discontentment” upon realizing that the Holy Trinity, through the class, has prepared instead a very simple, “already-there-in-every-heart” homily understandable and connectable even to the lowliest fellows far away (I was reminded of Coelho’s The Alchemist). God allowed me to see that. The message is already there pala in the hearts of the poor; I even am experiencing it – it was barely due to the fact that WE ARE NOT SIMPLY AWARE because it’s just ordinarily lived everyday; never that complicated.
Giver. Given. Gift-ing. Allow me to start in this light. Joys and pains in the Trinity. He laughs, He cries, He binds deep separations in love. “Manong, He’s not at all paternalistic, authoritarian, absolutely untouchable.” Love: His very initiative of “emptying Himself and taking the form of a slave” just to be in our own state. “He’s name is Emmanuel, Manong!”
Joys and pains in the squatter community. Children and adults (even drunk) dance on the street with festive hearts on Christmas Day despite the neighborhood’s cracking and busting sound of the cheap and brand-imitated speakers. Crime is uncontrollable due to poverty and drugs. Tension, grief and uncertainty ruled over the news that their tiny, constricted houses will be demolished. A relocation site led them to start anew with a spark of hope.
Isn’t God doing the initiative of making us feel that He’s one of us in the joys and pains of life?! That itself is a GIFT! With that, a poor widow realizes that despite the complexities of her life, she has been GIVEN the GIFT and is constantly receiving the GIFTING from the GIVER. And thus, spontaneously and over flowingly goes out from her the generosity to hope and share the gift more than she received. A simple assurance of presence was good enough for her to give more than just presence. The squatter community made me realize that there was more than any food on every meal. It was the laughter and openness of heart to share stories that made our stomachs truly full as we gather and share a few bulad and sinugba. True generosity, indeed; goes beyond a catering service. They offered me the softest bed I’ve ever laid on: Worn-out pillows and habol matched the pinagtagping mosquito net and old banig on top of their shaking bamboo floor. Precisely the softest bed because it was prepared with an undivided heart. And the month-long sojourn was concluded with tears as the small community really waited with me on the side walk as we waited for the jeep to fetch me; and later handed me a handful of coins for pabaon with these striking words, “Ayaw bya mi kalimti Jun ha…” how could my heart not squeeze in the sorrow of goodbyes and the longing to see them back as the same community when in fact they would separate ways after the demolition. I missed them so much! What was even more striking was when we were already taking pictures after the graduation rite in the seminary, a small package wrapped in ordinary paper was handed on to me. I was so surprised to see them so happy for me, handing the gift with all humility and shyness. It was a traveling bag they secretly saved for me. “We hope Jun you’ll bring this bag as you proceed to your next journey”. That was the only gift I received on my graduation day, and they’re even coming from a community unknown and even despised by the some in the society. My being one of the “given” was limited, but they returned it much more than what was given to them. There is indeed “no poor as to have nothing to give”! Jesus gave more than what he had as a poor carpenter’s son – his very life!
Were they aware of that? I would never ever claim that through our presence there they changed; for long before we came there, it’s already in them, only that, they might not be aware of that. They may not always be present at Mass, but through God’s grace He made them do it, and through such grace and experience of the generosity of God in me, I was able to see that in them. The Giver, Given, and Gift-ing just spontaneously touch their lives and assure them of His presence and oneness in the joys and pains of daily life, and so does generosity naturally flows from them. Last summer, as I was seated on one of the seats in our little Chapel during the Mass, a poor family came in and sat beside me. As I looked at them, tears just streamed from my eyes upon seeing how they really tried to dress formally and decently despite the faded clothings and repaired shoes they had, and the simple aroma of the Johnsons and Johnson’s baby powder and cologne they could only afford to use – while I only dress in casual clothes and slippers. I could clearly see in the Father’s though pitiful eyes the responsibility and commitment to bring his wife and kids to Mass. What a father! See the generosity of offering the best out of simplicity just for the Lord! Even concretely was the very striking heroism of an unrecognized 18-year old construction worker Muelmar Magallanes who saved over 30 people from Ondoy’s raging floods in Quezon City. Finally, he heard a scream: a mother and her baby on a Styrofoam box slowly being swept away. He was able to save the mother and the baby, but he ended up not being able to save himself due to exhaustion (PDI, 19/29/09). See his generosity! Sounds familiar eh! – Bravely saving other people even though it means risking his life. Was he aware of it? He may not be that much aware of that because it was already in him; he’s living with it everyday, the grace of God never selects, even a mere construction worker. What he was absolutely aware of was the fact that God gave him ever-supportive parents that despite poverty still saw and made him aware of the goodness and intrinsic value in him; so clear in his father and mother’s testimony after his death: “He always had a good heart,” and “incredibly brave”. Consequently, the generosity to share his gift of risking his life just to help others just sparked and flowed from him spontaneously and voluntarily! He acted without one commanding him to, isn’t it a habit of grace; so moral in his way! He could have chosen autonomy, but still ended up embracing the risk and surrendered everything to God. In the life of the Trinity is communion, not autonomy. His death of self was honored as sharing in the Paschal Mystery of Christ that led him to his destiny: Life and communion with the triune God! Indeed, he received grace not just a help for him but actually elevated him to the level of transforming his being more and more in the image and likeness of God. He received the GIFT; so now, he was the one giving what was freely given to him. The whirlpool of love! See the grammar of gift!
Millions of these heroes are still alive today, and unrecognizably go to the Church everyday or on Sundays. And these same people experience the joys and pains of life; faith and hope are even shaken. One of them will probably be like Nelson Tobillo who after losing her 12-year old daughter due to Ondoy’s wrath, cried in agony, “He (God) shouldn’t have given us 12 years if it would just be taken from us!” (PDI, 09/30/09). Yes, I know, it would still be difficult for these victims to grasp the truth about the Trinity’s sharing of pain with them. For now, the presence, the just-being-there, the touch and embrace helps a lot, hope they’ll soon see the sharing-of-God-in-pain through these people. How can I, as a future pastor, be of a link and instrument to them, not just to these recent victims but to the whole Church as well who flock for prayer and alleviation? I may not be able to stroke every back always or tap every shoulder. Some will just see me stretching my hands soon as I celebrate Mass. Seen or felt, may I be a GIFT to these people. Let me conform my very life first to the very image and likeness of the Triune God. My joys and pains to Their joys and pains.
Mama expressed in tears for our Manoy who left us for a while a few years ago, “I will never lose hope Jun…” In the end, I still couldn’t really grasp, couldn’t contain my being with such awe and wonder on the fact that when God touches one in grace, he would just allow the person to utter “HOPE” and act “BRAVELY”!
Let this LOVE diffuse.

Padre joins hands with PINOYchurch2009 and his younger brother PINOYchurch1600

As you can see, the first 10 stanzas show different lines of stories.
Every two lines express the relationship as regards the continuity of the influence of the young Philippine Church in the 15th to 17th Century TO our present Church.
The first line expresses an event happening during the Filipino Church in the 1600s.
The second line( in bold letters) expresses how that event of the 1600s influenced, connected, or simply just related to an event happening to our Pinoy Church (or in our country in general) today.

An Indio (the name Filipino didn’t exist yet before) made a small wooden idol in memory of his dead father;
a police chief adorns his precinct with the Sto. Nino dressed in police attire.
An old Indio answered, “Bathala is a great lord to whom no one can speak…”;
lolas carefully and devotedly wiped Jesus’ body and his coffin clean ready for the procession.

A clan of Indios sailed in the balangay;
an OFW excitedly steps out of the plane to meet her whole clan for Christmas.
“What is confession Padre?”, an Indio asked and still was afraid of this new practice introduced;
a long line of penitents patiently wait for their turn for confession at the Cathedral.

An Indio kid went to hear Mass and pray the Rosary every day;
my little cousin remarkably encouraged her father to stop drinking.
A newly-baptized Indio was willing to pass through mountains just to make his confession to the Padre;
a middle-aged man really strives to get hold of the rope pulling the caro of Hesus Nazareno.

Indio sodalists (charitable institutions) visited the sick in the hospitals;
civil groups and Church join hands for the Sumilao farmers.
“No to Indio slavery!”, a Spanish bishop exclaimed;
my family shares the same food, time, and table with our workers.

Father Juan helped carry logs to build a small chapel hut with the Indios;
10 bags of cement are delivered to the convent.
A missionary remarked following Doctrina Christiana, “See how zealous they are!”;
few weeks ago, a parish priest appreciated a lay woman who still continually devotes
actively in the parish despite being reprimanded in the past.

Native priests GomBurZa were executed because they seek out for justice;
Fr. Neri Satur was killed because he defended the truth.
Missionaries preached the Gospel through our own native tongues;
Filipinos are one of the best English speakers in the world.

1 native tribal chief led his folks to be baptized by Father de Torres;
Among Ed now dares and risks.
A congregation built a hospital;
we have the best doctors in the world.

Fray Salazar defended the peace-loving Indios from abuses;
“Have you come out of swords and clubs to arrest me as though I were a bandit?”, a minister
preaches during a solemn prayer rally.
The friar accommodated the baptism of an Indio who travelled for several miles just to be catechized;
a priest didn’t pressure a 20-year unmarried couple, who finally wished for marriage, by practically not letting them undergo pre-Cana seminar anymore.

A sick Indio consulted a babaylan (priestess) for healing;
Ate Venus Guibone is an excellent, 5-star woman.
Indio children loved the kind lay man Don Gonzalo;
former-teacher-now-catechist Tatay Jose still diligently and eagerly shares about the Lord with the Grade 4 pupils.

Abuses of slavery and exploitation were done by a few friars towards the poor Indios;
the first thing (which I overheard in a jeep) 2 parishioners ask about their parish priests is, “Is your priest strict?” An Indio tied an anting-anting around his waist;
a rosary swings as the driver maneuvers the manobela of his sikad-sikad.

Whew! See that! How unique the Philippine Church truly is!
Well, how could she not be awesome when in the very first place, she had a unique past.
Imagine, that was still 1600s, yet the Spaniards were already so impressed at the Indios’ receptivity of faith!
And today, 2009, the same heat of zeal and passion is still on and burning!

I simply could not grasp and contain my feeling… there’s really “something” in us Filipinos…it’s just so unfathomable! That’s what continually enlivened the zeal and enthusiasm throughout the centuries.
The Philippine Church didn’t let go of her faith and steadfastness despite the struggles and abuses between the lines.
With such depth of faith, she will never die.

How, then, will the Philippine Church continue to keep her fire burning?
Just a very basic answer, but found it hard for some few pastors to step back into – CATECHISM.
It revolves around the history of our local Church; I could feel its dominance and utmost significance:
A catechism that shares the same passion with the zeal of the Church since the beginning of evangelization.

For it is this catechism that would still connect the essence
of the Easter Sunday sugat and the striving HOPE of the masa. It is this catechism that would
help the pastors not to be troubled and feel insecure when lay collaborators share their talents in the parish.
It is this catechism that will continually defend the Church from abuses and vices.
It is this catechism that would throw out the gold of greed, corruption, and egoism
in order to see clearly the needs of so many thirsty souls.

But a question revolves: “Why do the people of God, especially nowadays, still look for THE “Catechism”?
A pastor, then, might ask, “Haven’t we given everything?” Numerous pastoral letters have been released already.
But why do the people still look for THE “Catechism” in spite of innumerable pulpit moments?!

Simply because the Filipino people, in the very flow of blood
since the pre-hispanic times until today,
want to SEE and FEEL! And not just HEAR!

An Indio had to gaze and feel the wooden idol to commemorate his dead father;
a poor Indio farmer had to feel the roughness of the shovel to see his crops grow;
an encomiendero (Spanish landlord) had to be visible in his responsibilities so that tributes justly grow;
a pagan priestess still won patients because she was also standing barefoot on the same soil with her fellow Indios;
a man feels the weight of his sins as the heavy cross rubs his shoulder;
a man could feel the blood of penance every time he scourges his back;
and a man in Luzon didn’t only recite his Lenten prayers but also felt the nails plunged into his hands and feet.

“May God give them SOMEONE to dedicate himself to satisfy the desire of Christians and pagans to God”.
I simply couldn’t let go of this phrase of the Jesuit Fr. Humanes in the early 1600s.
The Church simply wishes to see their priests and feel his presence with them; carry logs with them;
struggles with them in poverty; tills soil with them; processes with them; prays the rosary with them;
maturely relates with them; involves in social action with them; catechizes with them;
colors the unique tradition with them…then the heat of our uniqueness as a lively Church goes on!

Such catechism will correct the still-present and deep “paganism” lurking in our traditional practices;
people would just show their best and give without one asking for it
for they would truly feel what TRUE missionaries are.


The Filipinos’ burning faith, since the beginning, is the true treasure;
may priests constantly see and guide that treasure.
For pastors, being a MISSIONARY should no longer be an ordinary 10-letter word.
From him shall grow a ministry of contemplation-in-action;
an action grounded in prayer, molded by maturity, challenged by competence, burned with zeal.
Then a priest of today will continue to express what the passionate missionaries exclaimed,
“I found GOLD in the Philippines!”

Talking too much is senseless. They have to be acted upon…be seen and felt now.
We need a lot more MISSIONARIES who let actions speak.

Yet, the call is still on…I could not help but quote:
Jesuit Spaniard Fr. Gisbert in 1881 expressed, “…from one moment I found myself surrounded
by thousands of pagans in this mission, my heart has been grieving deeply.
Tears well in my eyes, not because I experience serious difficulties,
but because I see that here, many still do not know God, and are not converted for the lack of MISSIONARIES.”

__________________________________________
My friend wishes to show to you more of our Pinoy Church’s zeal through the years, so you better meet him:

The Jesuit John N. Schumacher’s READING IN PHILIPPINE CHURCH HISTORY, 2ND ed., Quezon City, Loyola School of Theology, AdMU, 1987.

keep walking...

homily, Lk. 4:16-30

A Viannista once considered himself incompetent academically. Now, he has become one of the excellent and wholistic parish priests in our diocese. Another Viannista was known to be bugoy-bugoy gamay. Now, he has become one of the good and friendly formators in our college seminary.
We, then, might ask, “How come?!” Perhaps, these Viannistas had not performed the “miracles” the seminary probably expected them to do, but because, like Jesus, they “went back home” to the place where they gradually grew up as good persons, they were able to perform “miracles” in their mission areas.
What do we mean when we say, “They went back home” or “go back home”? First of all, let us see its literal use in our Gospel today. Jesus really went back to his hometown Nazareth. The rejection he experienced from his kababayans is one of the dominant themes we usually see in our Gospel today. And yet, we also recognize the fact that Nazareth had contributed to the gradual formation of his human maturity. Wasn’t Nazareth the place where he grew up from being a good boy into becoming a mature man? Therefore, when we say: Jesus “went back home”, it means that Jesus experienced EVERYTHING in Nazareth. He did not only grow in his human formation, but also grow in the rejection and trials he experienced. Even if he did not perform a miracle that time, even though he was rejected, that did not stop him from continuing his mission with more energy and zeal.
In our seminary context, I believe most of us have experienced rejections in our apostolate areas. I myself was not spared from that. That was when some super-intellectual students of a science high school here in CdO mockingly laughed when my tongue slipped in saying Catechesm instead of Catechism. Even Fr. Norlan, whom I personally regard as a great man, felt how weak he was like any bilibid prisoner. But his “going back home” to his Vianney experiences led him to continue serving with more fire.
My brothers, how do we apply into our lives as seminarians and as priests the call to “go back home” to our Nazareth, St. John Vianney Seminary? “Going back home” means that wherever we go, whatever we do, whoever we meet, let us not forget to always bring with us ALL the memories (the good and the not-so-good memories) we experienced here in our home. So that, as we move on with our lives now as seminarians and soon as parish priests and formators, we will continue, as what Christ did, to “bring glad tidings to the poor, proclaim liberty to the captives, give sight to the blind, and let the oppressed go free”.
Finally, as Bishop Bacani said, during his talk last homecoming, that as we “go back home” to Vianney, we are also called to “go back home” to God, so that the love that we show to the people will be the same love God has showed to his flock.
My brothers, when you feel happy, when you feel tired, bored and discouraged…just go back home!

the genealogy of JESUS

Tinuod kini nga sugilanon mahitungod sa usa ka pobre kaayo nga magtiayon sa bukid nga sa pipila lamang ka mga tuig, nakapahimugso og walo kabuok anak. Apan taliwala sa ilang kapobrehon, nadasig gihapon nila ang ilang mga anak nga moeskwela gyud bisan kinahanglan mobaklay pa sila og pipila ka mga kilometro paingon sa eskwelahan ug magbalon og ginamos o asin isip sud-an. Kini nga hiyas nila sa pagpaningkamot inubanan sa ilang pagsalig sa Dios nga nagauban kanila, ila gyud nga gihuptan sa paglabay sa mga katuigan. Karon, kining walo nga mga anak nagtrabaho na isip batid nga mga propesyonal. Katingalahan dili ba mga igsuon?
Kini nga sugilanon sa kinabuhi nagpadayag kanato nga ang kapobrehon ni ang ubang kalisdanan o kahuyang dili gayud babag alang sa kalampusan tungod sa paningkamot ug pagsalig sa kamatinud-anon sa Dios. Ang kamatinud-anon sa Ginoo kanunayng magmadaugon batok sa tanang babag ug tawhanong kahuyang. Kini makita nato sa atong mga basahon.
Ang atong ebanghelyo pananglitan nagsaysay sa kagikan ni Jesus. Daghan kaayong mga personalidad ang lakip niini gikan pa kang Abraham. Siguro ang uban kanato karon mangutana, “Nganong angay pa man ni sila hisgotan padre? Dili kaayo namo makuha ang mensahe sa ebanghelyo.” Mga igsuon, bisan tuod daw lisud makita ang mensahe niining basahona, adunay daghang mapupo gikan niini. Usa niini ang kamatinud-anon sa Dios luyo sa kasal-anan ug kahuyang sa iyang katawhan. Pinaagi sa pagsusi sa partikular nga mga detalye sa pipila ka mga kagikan ni Hesus nga gipanghisgotan dinhi, masayran nato nga daghan sa kaliwat ni Jesus mahuyang ug makasasala. Tan-awa si Jacob, dili ba nakapanglimbong man siya pinaagi sa pagkuha sa panalangin sa iyang amahan nga si Isaac nga para unta sa iyang igsuon nga si Esau? Makita usab nato ang dakong sala nga nahimo ni David tungod sa iyang pagpanapaw. Misunod dayon ang pagkahimaye sa iyang anak nga si Solomon. Ug daghan pang atong makaplagan kung atong tiwason pag-utingkay ang kinabuhi sa uban pang myembro sa banay. Apan bisan pa niana, natuman gihapon ang gisaad nga kaluwasan sa Ginoo pinaagi sa pagkatawo sa batang Hesus. Busa, ang ebanghelyo diay nagpadayag kanato nga ang mga kahuyang ug kasaypanan sa mga kagikan ni Hesus wala nahimong babag alang sa katumanan nga gisaad sa Amahan kanato diha kang Hesukristo. Ang Dios matinud-anon sa saad bisan ang katawhan makasasala. Iyang gipasinati ug gipalabay ang tanan nga anaa sa mga kagikan ni Hesus sukad pa ni Abraham, maayo man o dautan; ug bisan pa sa mga kahuyang, giangkon ug gimahal gihapon sa Dios ang tanan, pinaagi sa pagpakatawo sa Ginoong Hesus. Ang Dios tinuod gayud nga matinud-anon!

Nakakita na ba mo og usa ka inahang iring o iro, ug sa unsa nga paagi niya ipahilayo iyang anak gikan sa hulga sa mga dagkong ilaga o halas? Iyang bitbiton kini pinaagi sa pagtangag sa tangkugo ug ibalhin sa usa ka dapit nga layo sa kakuyaw. Mabantayan nato nga motiyabaw intawon ang iyang anak sa kasakit, apan kadyot ra.
Siguro kadaghanan kanato karon adunay hulga, kakuyaw, problema nga giatubang ug sama sa usa ka itoy, nagtiyabaw pa pud sa kasakit nga gibati. Tingali kini problema sa atong mga anak nga bisan sa atong mga pagpatulo sa singot, luha, ug bisan dugo, nahiagum gihapon sila sa bisyo ug barkada ug wala na magtinarong sa ilang pag-eskwela. O kaha, tungod sa kalisud sa kinabuhi, kinahanglan na nga motrabaho bisan unsa na lang para lang gyud makapalit og bugas ug gamayng sud-an. Ang uban gani tingali maglisud na og andam para sa Pasko tungod kay bisan sa unsang pagpaningkamot, wala gayud matagai og oportunidad nga makatrabaho. Tingali ang uban usab kanato nag-antos tungod sa balati-an sa lawas o kaha nagsud-ong sa myembro sa pamilya nga nag-antos sa sakit diin sa atong tawhanong limitasyon, wala na kitay mahimo kundili ang paghilak ug pagpabati na lang gyud sa atong presensya. Tingali ang uban usab kanato nag-inusara na ug anaa na sa kamingaw nga dili mauban ang mga mahal sa kinabuhi karong Pasko tungod kay atoa na sila sa layo.
Sa atong mga kasakit karon, siguro makaingon kita, “Ah, gibiyaan ko sa Ginoo! Gipasagdaan man ko Niya!” Wala kita biyae mga igsuon. Sama sa usa ka itoy, gitangag kita sa mapinanggaon ug mapanalipdanong Ginoo paingon sa usa ka luwas nga lugar diin mabati nato ang kalinaw ug seguridad.
Busa, sama nga “gitangag” sa Dios Amahan ang kahuyangon sa mga kagikan ni Hesus sukad pa ni Abraham ug gipahiluna sa kahingpitan pinaagi sa pagkatawo sa Iyang anak nga si Hesus, kita usab gidapit nga modawat ug mogakos nga puno sa paglaum sa tanang ania kanato, maayo man o dili kaayo maayo; ug angay kita nga moingon, “Ang akong mga problema o kahuyang dili diay babag sa akong gipangandoy nga maayong Kristohanong kinabuhi kay ang Ginoo dili ug dili gayud mohunong sa iyang pagkamatinud-anon ngari kanako ug sa akong pamilya! Kining akong mga nasinati karon, pamaagi sa Ginoo nga mapahiluna ako sa Iyang gipangandoy nga kalipay ug kaluwasan alang kanako ug sa akong pamilya. Kanunay lang gyud ako nga maningkamot sa kinabuhi ug magmalaumon.”
Kung ania na dayon kanato ang pagdawat ug pagsalig sa Ginoo nga Siya matinud-anon gayud kanunay, mahimong mas molawom pa ang atong kalipay sa atong pagsaulog sa Pasko!

a homily, Mt. 2:1-12

Mga igsuon, kumusta man ang atong pagsaulog sa Pasko? Sigurado nga ang kadaghanan kanato gipangkapoy pa, apan nalingaw man pud dili ba? Ang uban kanato migasto gyud para sa mga dekorasyon ug pagkaon. Ang uban pud migahin og pinaskohan nga pangregalo dili lang alang sa mga kinugos kundili alang usab sa mga bata nga anaa sa mga karsada o balay-ampunan. Ang uban pud misimba gyud kada kaadlawon bahala’g mabilar. Sa kinatibuk-an, sigurado kita nga gikapoy gyud ug gimingaw na ang tanan sa milabayng kasaulogan sa Pasko tungod kay kita sulit gyud nga mihatag sa atong mga labing bililhon o “da best” nga pagtampo sa atong kaugalingon uban sa atong mga pamilya ug sa isigkatawo.
Sa atong ebanghelyo karon, mao usab ang gibuhat sa tulo ka mga manggialamong tawo ngadto kang Hesus. Ang pagbyahe pa lang daan ug pipila ka kilometro paingon sa Bethlehem usa na ka paghatag sa “da best” alang sa batang Hesus. Mas labi pang bililhon, sa ilang pag-abot, mihalad sila ug bulawan, insenso, ug mira – mga mahalon gyud nga mga gasa – alang kang Hesus ug sa iyang pobreng pamilya. Mihatag sila sa ilang labing bililhong gasa tungod kay: una, ang ilang gitagaan bililhon pud alang kanila; ug ikaduha, sa ilang paghatag, mibalik kanila ang labing bililhong gasa sa kalipay tungod kay nahikap nila ang Hari – usa ka kalipay nga ilang gipangita nga dili kabayloan ug salapi ni bulawan.
Apan nindot palandungon nga luyo niana nga paghatag sa mga “da best” nga mga gasa, mao ang usa ka pagpadayag sa labing hinungdanon sa tanang gasa – ang gasa nga gihatag mismo sa Ginoo. Kini ang kahulugan sa misteryo sa Epipaniya nga atong gisaulog karon. Ang pulong nga EPIPANIYA gikan sa pinulongang Griyego nga nagkahulugan og “pagpadayag sa Ginoo sa iyang kaugalingon nganhi kanato.” Sa unsa nga pamaagi mihatag ang Ginoo sa iyang “da best” o bililhong gasa? Tingali ang kadaghanan nagpaabut og labing dako o “grandioso” nga gasa. Apan dili diay kini ang nahitabo. Kay bisan sa Iyang pagkahalangdon ug pagkagamhanan isip Dios, bisan mahimo gyud unta Niya nga maghari sama sa mga kalibutanong mga hari nga gagilakgilak ang bisti ug naglingkod sa taas nga posisyon sa gahum, ang Ginoo mipili nga magpakatawo sa usa ka pobre ug mapaubsanon nga pamilya, sulod pa gyud sa usa ka pasungan. Kini gibuot sa Ginoo aron iyang mapadayag nga ang Iyang pagkahari daling maduol ug mahikap sa tanan, hilabi na sa mga baho ug ubos nga mga magbalantay sa karnero ug sa tanang kabus. Kini, mga igsuon, mao ang pinaka-“da best” o labing bililhong gasa sa kaugalingon nga Iyang gihatag kanato!
Mao usab kana ang gibati sa usa ka misyonaryo sa dihang mipuyo ug miuban siya sa usa ka pamilya sa mga sidewalk vendors sulod sa unom ka adlaw. Sa unang adlaw pa lang, mibati na siya ug kaluya kay wala siya magdahom nga aduna na diay silay mga pipila ka mga appliances sulod sa balay. Apan sa pag-uban na niya sa pagpamaligya, nasinati gyud niya ang kalisud ug kamapaubsanon nga ilang nasinati kada adlaw sukad pa sa una aron lamang makalahutay, makapamalit ug mga gamit ug pagkaon ug makapaeskwela sa mga anak bisan pa sa bilar, kalaay ug kaubos (kay halos moyaka na man sa semento). Sa ingon niini nga pamaagi gipakita nila ang ilang “da best” o labing halangdon nga pagmahal sa ilang mga anak.
Karong Dominggoha, pormal nga gihuman sa kalendaryo sa atong Simbahan ang kasaulogan sa Pasko. Karon nahuman na ang pagsaulog sa Pasko; balik eskwela na pud, balik trabaho, balik na usab kita sa mga naandang lihokonon sa balay. Ang pasko giisip nato nga, kun sa kanta pa, “the most wonderful time of the year” o pinaka-nindot nga panahon sa tuig. Tinuod nga mingawon kita sa Pasko, maong moingon dayon kita, “Tutal, everyday is christmas o kada adlaw man pud ang Pasko di ba!” Apan di gyud nato malikayan nga bisan pa moingon kita “everyday is Christmas,” lahi ra gyud ang atong kasibot o kagana kun moabut ang pasko ikumpara sa mga ordinaryong adlaw, dili ba? Mas madasigon kita nga maghatagay ug mga gasa panahon sa Pasko ikumpara sa ordinaryong panahon.
Kini ang hagit sa Epipaniya: Sa unsa nga pamaagi mapadayon nato ang samang kasibot o kagana sa paghatag sa atong “da best” o labing bililhon bahin sa kaugalingon ngadto sa atong isigkatawo ug ngadto sa Ginoo sa inadlaw-adlaw natong kinabuhi?
Una, ngadto sa isigkaingon, mahatag nato ang “da best” pinaagi sa paggahin dili lang sa salapi, kundili usab sa atong oras, presensya ug talento ngadto sa mga tawong bililhon kanato – anak, ginikanan, paryente o higala. Apan ang paghatag sa “da best” dili lang ngadto sa atong mga hinigugma o higala nga makabalos pa kun atong tabangan, kundili usab ug labaw sa tanan, alang niadtong mga igsuon nato nga dili gyud makabalos kanato – mga kabus ug sinalikway sa atong katilingban nga sama sa batang Hesus sa pasungan.
Ikaduha, ngadto sa Ginoo, mahatag nato ang atong “da best” ngadto sa Dios pinaagi sa pagpakita kaniya sa hiyas sa pagkabata nga gipadayag sa batang Hesus. Sama sa batang Hesus nga, bisan sa iyang pagkahalangdon ug pagkagamhanan isip Ginoo, miduyog uban kanato diha sa labing mapaubsanon nga pamaagi, kita usab gidapit sa Ginoo nga mahimong usa ka bata atubangan kaniya: mapaubsanon, mahuyang, ug labing masaligon ngadto sa amahan. Busa, isip usa ka bata atubangan sa mahigugmaong Amahan, atong hukason ug tangtangon ang atong garbo ug kamapahitas-on sa panahon nga kita makighinabi ug maminaw Kaniya diha sa pag-ampo ug pagsimba.
Masuta dayon nato kun kinasingkasing o tinuod ba kining atong paghatag sa atong labing bililhon ngadto sa atong isigkatawo ug sa Ginoo kung sa atong paghatag sa atong “da best,” sama sa tulo ka manggialamon, mobalik ra sa atong kasingkasing ang gasa sa kalipay – kalipay nga dili ug dili gayud kabayloan sa salapi ni bulawan.

a homily, Mt. 7:1-5

That was August 2008; during our GY formation year. Upon learning that I will be assigned at Ma. Reyna Hospital for a 1-month Hospital Ministry, I immediately said to myself, “Ah, walay challenge sa Ma.Reyna kay han-ay ug limpyo na ang tanan; mga datu ray kasagara ma-admit; dili kaayo mabati ang pakig-uban sa mga kabus. I would be more excited and more challenged if I were assigned at either German Doctors Hospital or Provincial Hospital kay naa gyud didto ang tinuod nga pagpangalagad”. That was what I thought.
After only two weeks at Maria Reyna, I was already exposed to different kinds of patients, of different sects and religion, rich and poor. Still two weeks of ministry, struggles already arose. I felt rejection from some rich patients; Muslims and “sunog baga” type of people caused me a lot of anxiety. And because of that, I tended to avoid them and rather chose rooms and wards where poor patients were, kay didto ko mas “at home”. If I were Abram, in our 1st reading, I would have told the Lord, “Lord, sigurado-a bya ha nga ibutang ko nimo sa usa ka lugar nga daghang mapanginabuhi-an; kanang ma-‘at home’ ko”.
Then came our weekly processing with Ate Venus and Fr. Manol. Thank God! I was saved! For during the process, I started to realize that it was not the hospital that I hated, it was not the rich people or the Muslims or the “sunog-baga” image that I hated – it was the unresolved and untamed parts in me that I hated most. It was not the “speck” of other people that I hated, but the “log” that was in me. And to be exact to the very words, they found out in me a ‘repressive anger”, the hang-up that was lurking within me, which was awakened and disturbed when I associated with those patients who resembled the images of those people who troubled my self-esteem before. Thanks to the Vianney formation.
Now, here in the context of the seminary; I think, one of the localized versions of the word “judgment” that was expressed in the Gospel is the seemingly unending culture of “kantsaw” or “yaga-yaga” or “abi-abi”. And I am not exempted to that. Though of course not all “kantsaw” or “yaga-yaga” belong to what the Gospel says about judgment, but I think my dear brothers, it is still worth reflecting and examining the “pangangantsaw” that we do. Again I repeat, I myself am not exempted to these questions. How often do we “kantsaw” our fellows? And what do we usually “kantsaw” to our brothers? Are we doing this because the one we make fun with deserves our “kantsaw” OR simply because we would like to hide and pass to others our own faults and issues? A book I read says that, “contemporary psychology would agree that we tend to dislike in others what we dislike in ourselves”. Do you agree with that?
In the end, I think this is not the only issue some of us are having; naa pay mga authority hang-ups, intimacy or sexual issues, etc. And what we did last Friday, when some of us submitted their terna of schedule for our Priestly Growth Accompaniment with Ate Venus, suitably correlates to the message of our 1st reading and Gospel today.
That like Abram, when he was called by God, he didn’t even question God as to where he would put him; he just showed his total faith on Him. And what was even more remarkable was that, Abram brought with him all his possessions. He didn’t leave anything.
And so we hope and pray that as we respond to God’s call through the formation programs, not just in our PGAs, but also in our SDs and ICs and the whole seminary formation; that like Abram, may we also bring all that we have, the me as I am, no secrets, just ourselves with arms wide open to the seminary formation.
Then and there, as the Lord says, “when we remove the wooden beam from our own eyes first, then we will see clearly, ready to help remove the ‘splinters’ from our brother’s eyes”. Mga bros, sugod sa ta sa kaugalingon…Kabag-ohan! Now na!

just be with me...

It was truly a “descent into hell” – few years ago, real fire ended up our Lola’s ancestral home into ashes. “Why Lord! What have we done wrong?! You know that I always go to Church everyday!”, Lola grieved despite Mama’s persistent consolations. For sure, Mama is just one of the millions who would affirm that this part is one of the most difficult roles.
BALTHASAR’s (as well as Moltmann’s) presentation led me to reflect upon the “Triumph of the Cross”. My first impression towards it sensed an irony. For how can a cross, which is shame and death, be triumphant? How could Lola feel LOVE in abandonment? How could there’ll be HOPE in the cross which is death and separation? This also brought me to question (during the first few class sessions) how the Holy Spirit united in undying love the greatest separation of the Father and the Son during that Holy Saturday moment. My first impression again led me to the same irony. “Where’s the love in separation? Where’s the Holy Spirit there?”
Then, suddenly, upon hearing the words: “Kun gaantos ang anak, mas gaantos ang ginikanan” as simplified by our professor, my ‘asthma-descent-into-hell” years flashed into my memory. Then and there, the Holy Spirit led me to understand how He was present during the separation, as well as, during my bedridden moments. For during those successive mornings in the hospital whenever I badly gasped for air, Mama (human as she was, with her limitations) could not help but simply cry beside me and caress my back. Where, then, can I find and connect the Holy Spirit’s undying love in that very moment of helplessness? There was more than the nebulizer. It was the tears of Mama and her gentle hand that connected and united her and me in undying love! From here, let me go out to express what the world needs to do today: Mama’s tears and gentle hand = PRESENCE! BEING THERE! If only the Church will continue to become an agent of social involvement and not just on spirituality and mere words… If only the priest would continue to spend time after Mass with the people in the barrios; I was once a patient and I know how consoling it is to be listened to. If only the society’s government and NGOs would continue to step on the same ground with poor communities without superficiality and selfish intentions… If only the seminarians would continue to be dedicated, zealous and punctual during apostolate, then a brimming degree of presence would be much felt by the people.
I was once assigned on a community of squatters. Yes, I was with them, but my presence did not and will not alleviate them from poverty. Tomorrow, they’ll be struggling again; in fact, their houses were demolished a month since we left. But with Christ who once in his loving grandeur, chose to be born in the lowest state just to make himself be present even with the lowliest ones; and consequently, had left the mark of his presence in all hearts of all ages through the Holy Spirit. Thus, we too are assured that the Trinity through the Spirit has ever continued to unite in undying love the separation of the squatter people and the missionaries through indelibly marking in the formers’ hearts the memories of the presence of people who lived and ate and slept the way they lived, ate, and slept. From there, HOPE and DIGNITY flows in the midst of their sufferings. After the missionaries’ presence, their kahig and tuka still continues. Yes, they’re only a minute number among the millions of poor around the world, but I firmly believe that the PRESENCE of zealous people from Christ had planted, in their hearts, a difference.

YOU MINE WHAT IS MINE

“Kon langit ang atong kab-oton, nganong yuta man ang atong kutkuton?” (Leofe Calongo, 9 years old)
(“If we aim for heaven, why do we dig the earth?”)

The CBCP Monitor called my attention one day;
“Bishop Sued for Libel after Exposing Mining Anomalies”
Reading closely…Oh! OUR bishop, a priest, and lay advocates in our diocese
grabbed the headline…on the very front page!

Wow, real advocates of the cultural and environmental concerns,
I salute them!
Could this be the reason, then, why I CHOSE to write an article about mining?
Well, why not? After all, the advocates and the concerned ones belong to my diocese, so how could I not…
Yet, there’s a deeper reason…

But the fact that I don’t have a firm background on mining and its laws;
And the fact that I don’t have any concrete contact with the Subanons and their affected place;
How, then, could I write a reliable and experienced-based article?

What basically moved me, then?
I believe it lies on the essential commonalities that we share;
From that, flow the other reasons:
Such great values such as love, compassion, empathy…

The basic truth lies on our being humans: I, too, cry as they do.
I was not there but I, too, have been living in a home securely planted on earth and water.
I was not there, but I, too, am embraced warmly by my culture and enjoy my rights.
How, then, could you not feel cold and empty when someone strip you naked?
Their stories are my own stories too!

Ok, let’s start in the courting process;
A process wherein mining companies and miting de avance commonly share:
Benefits like employment, education, healthcare and community projects;
Well, nice start ah!

But, imagine how terrible will it be when the sweetness gradually gets lost from a sugar-coated bitter root:
Behind employment is the rigid selection and arrival of commercial mining
which continuously reduces the number of manpower;
Low paid jobs go along with long laborious hours, with less or no benefits at all;
And let’s not forget the great danger of accidents, illnesses and disasters…whew!

Behind projects lay smuggling, seizures of lands, and deforestation in the construction of infrastructures;
Developments of businesses even lead to vices, gambling, drunkenness, and prostitution.
Degradation of cultural values…then, where is education?

And the most visible long-term regrettable impact points to the health and environmental corruption:
Removal of vast amounts of earth clears forests and farms; destructs clean water source system;
Improper acidic waste disposal leads to the pollution and eventual death of aqua-food farms and clean air.
In a country wherein livelihood depends mostly on agri- and aquaculture,
the serious environmental destruction coupled with the risk of health problems,
disastrously lead to a gradual decrease of earning money – their traditional economy.
“How, then, can we be able to cope with our children’s education?!”

And, didn’t we talk about ‘seizures of lands’ a while ago?
The Subanons, who occupied the land for centuries, are now the ones struggling to get their domain back.
Big-scale mining operations have aggressively trespassed their ancestral realm!
A tiny, abundant vegetable farm bulldozed into a raw and naked earth…an open pit mining;
Dislocated and relocated…but into houses like squeezed and constricted chicken dens.
Now, compare it to officials’ concrete houses…guess who’s got the gold?

Then comes ‘persecution’ (highlighting the experience of the Subanons in their place in our diocese):
Injury after injury, tortures and bruises after demolition of houses…
No court orders, thus, trespassers!
From threats to gunshots; food blockades and confiscations TO spikes on footpaths in forests;
Armed forces and militarization OVER the peace-loving Subanons
Then Jesus said, “Have you come out with swords and clubs to arrest me as though I were a bandit?” (Mt.26:55)

In such danger of land-loss, the Certificate of Ancestral Domain Title (CADT) was granted to them.
Hence, the right to manage their own forests…the land as their own, for them, “a chance to heal…”
In our folks’ demands for the recognition of their cultural rights,
emerged the 1997 Indigenous Peoples’ Rights Act (IPRA) saying that,
Before “exploration and extraction…the whole community must be informed and
agree to the decision…otherwise…a project cannot proceed.”

But what made such companies so aggressive, exploitative and confident in continuing mining operations despite petitions?
Well, how could any foreign company be not attracted to the benefits of the 1995 Mining Act of RA 7942:
100% ownership, 81,000 hectare claim over an area for 50 years; 10-year tax holidays, etc., whew!
So, going back, despite Subanon’s rights, agencies of the Philippine government still support the mining companies more than the locality…Ehem!
Inquirer article says, “Palace: No to Mining Ban”. Ahh, that’s why!

Oh, so heavy for our brothers and sisters to carry…
With that, some of them lost hope.
Pressures and poverty led them to sell their lands or get employed in the company.
Even clearly bitter is the tactic of dividing the tribal folks by making fight and argue against each other.
BUT, DESPITE THAT, THERE ARE STILL MANY WHO CONTINUE TO HOLD ON TO THE FIGHT!

And what is striking is that, the role of the Church makes a great impact in their lives…
DIOPIM (Dipolog, Ipil, Ozamiz, Pagadian, Iligan, and Marawi) Bishops and Clergy affixed their signatures
to maintain their stand, support the cause of the Subanons, and appeal for truth and justice.
For many poor people turn to them to express their grievances and seek relief from their distress
the mining activities have destructively inflicted on them.
In coming to their help, our advocates, in turn, faced a libel suit initiated by the Canadian mining firm, for such exposé.

Yet behind their backs come a firm stand and support from our bishops and clergy,
And I could not help but quote it!
“This situation is not far from the experiences of our fellow countrymen all over the country who are subjected
to different harassments just to silence them while advancing their aggressive, destructive, and exploitative
mining operations of transnational companies. We condemn the curtailment of freedom to express what we believe to be the TRUTH.”

“YOU MINE WHAT IS MINE!” a Subanon father and farmer cries, “they ‘owned’ my land!”
“YOU MINE…the last of our land; my agriculture, hunting and fishing livelihood; my sacred and safe place and ancestral settlement!”
“YOU MINE the security and future of my children! YOU MINE my traditional cultural customs and human rights!”
“This place is prepared for us by GOD…He had given it to us to live on and to care for.
This is central to the meaning of our life and culture as Subanons.
It is difficult for a foreign mining company WHO ARE NOT PART OF THIS PLACE to understand this.”

“Kon langit ang atong kab-oton, nganong yuta man ang atong kutkuton?”
If you aim for glory and riches, why do you have to disturb our peaceful, secure and sacred life?

The children themselves cry, “Madame Gloria, please listen to our views!”
May the glory that we seek resonate with your name!
“Tangtanga una ang bulawan nga gibitay sa imong dalunggan, aron imong madunggan ug ikaw mobati sa panawagan sa kabataan.”
(Remove your golden earrings that you may hear and empathize with the pleadings of the young.)

“YOU MINE WHAT IS MINE!” is also my cry;
If worldly and materialistic “miners” dig and own the gold, nickel, and copper treasures of my soul.
If I don’t grasp and defend the promotion of truth, justice, and be bothered by the ecological threat,
my life will then become a barren, wasted, and polluted land.
And from it, will the souls of those who drink by my stream be in real threat and danger.

See how the Church becomes a warm bosom for those who are in the cold.
Then I see myself…my present life…my future ministry…what shall I do then?
I believe that the nourishment of truth must start from within me – be firmly grounded
in Christ as “The Way, The TRUTH, and The Life”.
From there then flows an advocacy…a firm conviction to stand for such truth and security
which people seek and rejoice in glory with me till the end.
Stand for the TRUTH…Care for the EARTH!

A child whispers in humble prayer:
Lord, intawn kami sud-onga ug pamati-a, mga kabataan kanimo nangaliya,
Pugngi ang hulga sa among kaugmaon, apan dili ang among pagbuot ang among tumanon, kon dili and imoha gihapon.
(Lord, please look upon us and hear us your children, we implore.
Suppress the threat to our future; yet it’s your will we desire, not our own.) AMEN.



leonilo a.dagpin, jr.
february 2006
year of social concerns


Meet my companions…the advocates:
Letter of Concern and Appeal by the DIOPIM Bishops addressed to Hon. Clare Short, British Parliament, UK
Letter of Concern by the DOPIM Bishops and Clergy
Breaking promises, making profits: Mining in the Philippines (A Christian Aid and PIPLinks report, 2004)
Newsletter DIBALUY, published by DIOPIM Committee on Mining Issues, June and November 2006
A cartoon/comic entitled, “Dinagkong Pagmina Kinsay Mabulahan?” by JPIC Columban-Mindanao and MASIPAG-Mindanao
“MINA, TVI OPERATION?” a poem by Leofe Calongo, 9 years old from Jose Dalman, Zamboanga del Norte

for a debutante

You’re a woman now Mary, not anymore the sipunin little girl your mama and papa used to know. And I know you have your million wishes now for your birthday. God may have set time for each of your wishes; He may grant them now and delay some for your future. But I believe that a simple “Thank you!” to the Lord for all that had been, for giving you another year of life and love, and for all that will be in the future – is more than enough, more than any wish you could ask for. Start with a simple “Thank you!” Mary. For from a simple yet heartfelt “Thank you!” to the Lord, I believe, every good thing follows.

And with that, I also thank the Lord for giving me not just the opportunity to be here in your party, but most of all, for giving me the privilege to know you and get close to you personally.

For your Mama and Papa: You know what Sir, Maam, your daughter is a very lovely and sweet friend. You never failed to raise her and made her into the real WOMAN you wished her to be.

Mary, you may not be that slim as you might wish you should have been. You may not be that perfect. But always remember, as the book entitled “The Little Prince” says, “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” For Jesus, you will always be His precious and favorite little sister. For me, you will always be the same sweet Mary I will always treasure (in my heart). Continue to smile; and never forget to pray. We love you Mary. Happy birthday young woman!

"KINSAYGALUTO ANI?!"

“KINSAY GALUTÔ ANI?!”
(“Who cooked this one?!”)

“Kini moy sabaw! Kinsay galutô ani?!”
(“This is the best soup! Who cooked this one?!”)

It all started when Fr. Manol uttered these lines during my birthday celebration last December. From that time on, this has been the language we used to make fun with every time the famous and all-time favorite seminarians’ menu halang-halang (very very hot and spicy native chicken meat in large volume of coconut soup) is served during coffee breaks and birthdays in our GY community.
Just exactly one month after the event, Ate Myrna, one of our “dieticians” (the other “dieticians” include Ate Venus, SJVTS Formators, Ate Eva, Ae Jopay, Retreat Directors, Tatay Mat, Fr. Nilo, Ate Inday, etc.) on the 3-month (and more) Transformative Pastoral Leadership Training Seminar (TPLTP), brought in a “kolon” (pot, palayok) with a hope and promise of a menu that will not just match the mouth-watering halang-halang but will even be more delicious and will even go beyond its usual and common flavor. With her was the distinguished “nutritionist” Archbishop Tony who provided all the “nutrients” (presence, hope, all-out support, resources, etc.) needed for a healthy “go, grow, glow” (integral) ministry. Inside the “kolon” were us, the Galileans on to a menu that will hopefully turn hungry stomachs heavy and full. Inside the “kolon”, they made us see how the first months of this formation year allowed the “meat” to be put to the painful yet worthwhile boiling water of the Psycho-Spiritual Integration (PSI), Hospital Ministry, and Family Dynamics Seminar in order to soften and cook the hard and raw “chunks of meat” in us. And through the 30-day Retreat, the Master Chef made us realize that every ingredient in us, even before we were born, was purposely, worthily and carefully picked from the choicest crops organically fertilized with His love and grace.
Then, the “meat” started to soften. It was time to open up the “taklob” (cover). However, it still lacked a lot of flavor. It needed the appropriate (pagpahaom) spices of prayer, people, and experiences in our urban and rural immersions in order to integrate (pagpatibuok) with the meat’s flavor so that those who would taste it will be able to share (pagpa-ambit) with others in the broad (pagpalapad) wide world that once in their lifetime, a taste of its soup penetrated deep (pagpalalom) into the core of their bones that will make them exclaim, “Kini moy sabaw! Dili parat!…Kini moy pari! Sakto’ng lider!” (“This is the best soup! It has the exact salt!...This is the best priest! He’s the exact leader!”)
“Asa man ni gilutô?” (“Where is this cooked?”) “Where else?” In the “kolon”, the Galilee Year (the re-structured SHuPfy) which is firmly put on top of the “sug-ang”, the SJVTS, that is determinedly planted on the same ground-soil where squatters and subdivisions also stand.
And beneath all these, the Holy Spirit who constantly burns firewood to maintain the heat of the soup guides the “luwag” (ladle), Fr. Manol, that in his slow, still, and serene “pag-ukay” (mixing), those who would taste it could not help but irresistibly ask, “Kinsay galutô ani?!”

Well…WHO else? Thanks to the Master Chef! Thanks to the “kolon”!



leonilo a. dagpin, jr.
03.10.09

"I GOT MY COIN BACK, GET ALL MY BILLS!"

Allow me to share with you, instead of a usual synthesis write-up like the others, what I, as the assigned sharer of the day, cordially expressed during the 6 AM Mass last March 14, 2009 at the GY chapel. I simply just couldn’t contain the overflowing wisdom and goodness of the Lord how He was able to harmonize, through me, my GY experiences (to name one: my recent family transformation experience) and the parables of the Lost Coin, the Lost Sheep, and the Prodigal Son in Luke 15: 1 – 32. For me, this was more than just a synthesis; this was the Father’s way of “celebrating the feast” with me and His friends after the “lost” had gone home. The “celebration” just could not control my quivering lips all throughout my conveyance of God’s message in the presence of Fr. Manol and GY buddies...

Good morning Pads! Bros!

Allow me to share with you one awesome and heartwarming effect the GY formation has caused me to rejoice. Before the Family Dynamics Seminar and Family Day, we (my parents and I) thought Manoy was the prodigal son, the lost coin, the lost sheep. It was after the activity that we realized we were the lost coins, the lost sheep, the lost sons and the older brother. Rigidity was one why we “left” him. And through Fr. Nilo, we were led to realize that “there’s more than engineering…there’s more than mathematics…” in Manoy. As to the story, there’s more than the son’s prodigality, extravagance, sins. And so when we came back “home” to Manoy as he was, as my brother, as their son “beyond his being a pastor”, then God, the ever patient and loving Father (as with the story) ordered a feast! And we really celebrated and enjoyed that feast! That was during the recent Christmas and New Year celebration. Yes, all our past Christmases were joyfully celebrated, but the recent Christmas and New Year was so different; even before the seminar I thought, “This will be a different Christmas and New Year holiday”. And it indeed was! So different and marvelous that I was and am sure I would never forget such moments in my whole life. For last Christmas, that was the first time me and my little brother, with the savings that we had, bought a quality guitar and offered it as a surprise gift to Manoy, to our idol. And that was the very first time we expressed, through the greeting card, the very words, “We love you ‘Noy!” And during the New Year celebration, we were again together after almost 7 years of being incomplete. Though he’s still on the process of recovery and rest now (in our small hut by the farm, an hour away from home, as his specialist recommended), he really has changed a lot, and is getting more deeply happy, peaceful and serene now, like the father, after we went “home”. And for the very first time too, we were able to meet the incoming year with a very solemn and emotional prayer period in front of our old altar, instead of the usual bangs of fireworks and tinkles of coins. Though Manoy didn’t yet join the prayer session (he was just seated on the back listening), what struck me the most was the transformation that happened in the content of each of our prayer: It was not anymore about “May Manoy be finally home with us…”, but instead, words of thanksgiving and imminent hope for finally bringing Manoy back, “Manoy’s back! Though not yet totally, but in the deepest core of our hearts, he’s back and even more!!!” And for the very first time too, in my whole 25 years of existence, we finally had a picture portrait where we were complete as a family (you just don’t know how it was not that easy for us to do such thing before). How happy we were, that few days after the unforgettable event, a large framed picture was already hanging on the very wall of our house. And in my Friendster site, the pictures were already posted, too proud and gratuitous for the whole wide world to see, give thanks to God and convey hope. Through the seminar, the “older brother” in me, in mama and papa was pleased by the Father and soon was led to truth, understanding, acceptance and enlightenment.
In connection with that, yesterday, before lunch time, as I sat down inside the chapel for the regular Consciousness Examen, tears just flowed; I got so emotional as I recalled the series of events that had happened the past week. I could not believe how I was able to make, write, and finish a lot of things in just one whole week; it was just so spontaneous: the editorial thing, editing a GY article for the Tulay publication, filling up the appraisal forms, the program plan for summer, the song and lyrics for last night’s BEC Night…all of them were successfully and marvelously prepared! And what was unbelievable was that, as I was making all these things, “These I do for the GY” was the spring board, was always evolving in my consciousness; not for the self anymore, yet I was so very happy! And what made me even got more emotional was when, with all those awe-inspiring things in mind and heart, I finally expressed to Jesus during the colloquy, “Lord, when I do things according to the talents you bestowed upon me, wala na untay modayeg nako for my own sake…Naa na nako ang ‘coin’ Lord! I already have the ‘coin’ Lord. I already have found my ‘coin’ back. I have found my self-esteem back Lord after the Hospital Ministry. My inner child has returned back Lord after the PSI. I have found my worth and self Lord after the 30-day retreat. I have my family back Lord. I have found back and deepen my perspective in dealing with the poor through the Urban and Rural Immersions. Naa na nako ang ‘coin’ Lord! And I am willing to give all the rest in me. This I do…all for GY…all for Your Church!...not mine! Never will it be for my own sake anymore. Payts na ni Lord; through the ‘coin’, I could already feel your love and grace!” I constantly hope and pray that as I go home from GY, wherever I go, whatever I do, my actions would let the people remark, “He has indeed celebrated after the lost in him had been found and recovered.” Celebrating…meaning: Doing what one, who has undergone the GY formation, must do wherever he goes…
From the family that was transformed, a leader was gradually formed…he bridged a gap…he’ll still be bridging other gaps soon…
Then, he put his right hand in his pocket. He brought out from his pocket a “coin”. Gazing absorbedly on the “coin”, slowly, he smiled; his face brightened. Then he slowly raised his head…and his eyes…looked intently on a direction, on a horizon. There, just nearby, were his friends…waiting, the 99 sheep are waiting, the Father and the older brother are waiting…
Now, with the “coin” he’s holding, the leader is ready to celebrate…


leonilo a. dagpin, jr
03.20.09

FIRST TIMES, THE BEST TIMES!

FIRST TIMES, THE BEST TIMES

Without them, God, my life, the retreat, my family, and my trials that went with them, I couldn’t thank Him this way…this great! This was the realization that suddenly flashed into my being few minutes after I sat on the chair of the bus and left home. This kindled a smile on me; just couldn’t measure how happy and thankful I was that time, as I reminisced on my seat the memories I had since the Family Dynamics seminar until the moment I stepped into the staircase of the bus. How could I not bear a smile and a light heart when in the very first place, my family was a very great part of the unconditional WORTH He made so clear to and with me during such a 30-day experience! And it was through the very presence, the very faces, and the very ever commendable simple actions, the very soft and heartwarming words of the Holy Family! It was so memorable that I couldn’t help but shed a tear or two every time I remember such intimacy even during the other day’s Mass.
And so came the 5th week, the longest week of the exercises. And this time, the focus was the family. With them, the week had set my time for the application, for the renewal of license, for the constant firewood to continue my heart to burn with love and grace. The presence of a professional like Fr. Nilo was so great and remarkable. His presence was a gift for me. For he managed to accompany me and made me see, discover, and realize, for the first time in my life, the deepest realities of my clan, specifically my family, particularly my parents. It was a big, “Ahh...that’s why!” I salute him! Then they arrived, 3 days later. It was the right time, the perfect schedule, and the best venue; for when I already had been packed with a wide scope of awareness and taught with a heart-full way of approach, I was then ready to face a difficult and sensitive task in the midst of them. In fact, I was troubled and worried starting the day before the exchange of hearts. Yet, I never ceased to submit of God all that will happen in the light of His ever-guiding will. And during my pre-sharing prayer moment, while I was on the chapel reflecting upon the series of events that had happened since the beginning of GY, I really felt a different, dawning-joyful beat of my heart; another first-ever experience to happen in my life – that this coming Christmas and New Year will be a different season for me and my family; I could sense it! It was a fire starting to blaze in our hearts and there’s a lot of firewood to flare it up!
Indeed, it was! The warm and affectionate sharing we 3 had was a very good and promising start. Embraced by prayer, feelings were poured out, joys and sentiments were expressed. I opened up mine: My joy and gratitude, my sorrows and sins that caused them pain, my emotions in behalf of my brothers, and a prayer-full, heart-opening sentiment that loosened up rigidities in them. They, too, opened up their hearts: Preliminary justifications were soon transformed into a humble acceptance and eager desire to revive what was lost in our family. How light, loosened, and free was the feeling we had after the sharing! That was the first time ever! And I thanked God for it! “This will truly be a different Christmas when we get home!” I thought. We ended up aware of each other’s orientations, backgrounds and resolutions. They understood me; I too even much understood my mama and papa. The theory (modules, inputs, seminars we had since the beginning) and the application (sharing period with the parents) finally met in my heart; they will walk together from this time on, for the rest of my years.
And this time, after confronting prayerfully the issues from within ourselves, from the roots, we became a team – then it became an avenue for us to move on to extend our united hands and hearts to the rest of the family: to Manoy, in particular. We, them, agreed and came up on a schedule when to have a family prayer session together with him; and the date was on the ever-memorable December 25. I personally suggested such date and activity because I myself together with my little brother would like to verbally express our love for him within the atmosphere of a prayerful family sharing period. We hadn’t expressed this word to him yet, and little did our actions too. I believe, as what I had expressed to my parents that this will contribute a lot to the healing of his current illness: head pains that no physician could ever identify except his psychiatrist. I believed, we believed, this was what he finally needed for recovery. For He too, like me, had been in trouble with the family’s rigidity. But concretely, this would never be easy; we knew him; I personally knew him since I, who was only a year younger, grew up with him so closely; a characteristic one needs to be so prudent and sensitive in approaching. We had failed before; we sent a priest to talk to him but ended up in vain. My parents were so rigid on him (especially during his early years of turning away) that he resisted, and even moved away from us physically for years until last year. We had maintained an approach since then, as recommended by some priests and friends – to simply let go of our rigidity, let him be, and still let him feel that he was loved, supported, and a great part of the family though he had gone away. Yet, the rigidity was still present, and the family seminar sharing became an even wider eye and heart-opener. Thanks be to God!
Now that he was already home with us for almost a year now, we had expressed a different approach; with the same, and even deeper expressions of prudence and sensitivity. Yet still in my heart, seeing the context at home as Christmas was approaching, I opened my arms wide to the will of the Father – I will still be open to possibilities. Things might not happen according to what had been planned, but as long as it was discerned in my heart that whatever happened in our striving, it would still be His Will that will be done. Situation-wise, no prayer-sharing happened on December 25. The place (we spent that day on our farmland in Baliangao where he was asked by his doctor to stay there for medical reasons) was not that conducive or fitting for the set intimate family moment. We realized there are lots of people there and the need was not that compatible that somehow lessened the possibility for such a private gathering. Instead, God allowed and blessed a different kind of sharing. Not just on that day but even before that day until January 2, His plan was working behind every move we made. For it was rather a sharing of actions that spoke louder than words that time. It was so unbelievable to see and experience how Manoy had changed a lot these days! It was so awesome! Indeed, how mysterious God’s ways were, He filled up spaces. My thanksgiving was overflowing, it was more than words!
It all started when as we were about to leave the seminary after the Family Day, he asked me through text messages that if possible, my parents could buy the guitar he dreamt of, the one he saw in Iligan 2 years ago. But as we looked at the price, it had gone so high, almost thrice the price it had few years ago. Though worried that it might hurt his feelings again and would then think we hadn’t granted his few wishes, I still pursued in telling him prudently through a call that we couldn’t afford to buy the guitar. Thankfully, though he expressed a bit of sadness, he assured he was still fine. From the Family Day, I already expressed to my parents how they (we) acted to him that could have hurt his feelings before; and how we must act, this time: To simply love and accept him as he is now, free of all pressures and rigidity. “There’s more than Math, there’s more than engineering in him...” as Fr. Nilo reminded me. Then, my heart suddenly beat a preparation as we reached home in Dapitan: I, together with my little brother, went to a music center in Dipolog and agreed on a very wonderful quality-marked guitar, yet in a different design and lesser price than his dream one. We decided to buy it through the savings that we had and planned to give it to Manoy, and this time, as a gift, a surprise gift from the 2 of us this Christmas. This was another first time for the 2 of us to give a gift to our Manoy. And what was so special was that, we wrote in a greeting card a very touching message for him, all that I wished to say to him, the very words that I had wished to express to him; how much we, his brothers, LOVE him so much…that he was, is and will always be our idol. And on that awaited day, though I was worried that he might not like it since it wasn’t his dream guitar, we gave it him to his surprise. And what was so moving was that when he opened the wrapped gift and played it, he said it had the best quality, matched the guitar he dreamt of, and he loved it very, very much! Though he never verbally uttered the word “Thank you” words (we understood him already since before, he’s not that verbal), after receiving the gift and read the greeting card, I could see in his eyes how happy he was! I could see in his happy, transformed face how he savored in his deepest core the very words we wrote on the card. And when we saw him happy, we too got a share of it. Miraculously, Manoy has really changed a lot now, not anymore the same Manoy we (brothers) knew before as strict and loner. He smiles now, he converses now, he goes outside now and socializes, he exercises now, and the most remarkable was that, he plays the guitar and sings with us, his 2 brothers, now – a memorable first time event that had been happening surprisingly these days.. I never lose hope though we hadn’t actualized the plan, but see how things happened? It was even four-fold! See how we did our best, and God did the rest!
Then, I thought of the activity on the coming New Year. Another related event(s) happened during the New Year, not the planned one again. But such activity, so Spirit-filled that it even more and more flared our hopeful hearts up! The very fact that he went with us to Iligan City (in our ancestral home) as we traditionally did every New Year (as he was not used to do before especially now that he had an illness) made our hearts leap for joy. His stay with us even for just a couple of days was unbelievable; it was like a dream that I wished I would never wake up: We (the 3 of us) sang songs together, we laughed, we sat beside each other and talk – no religious sects; we even understood each other now regarding that. Then came the last few seconds before New Year; and for the first time in our Family New Year history, given the best situation, time, and mood, we greeted 2009, not with firecrackers and coins-throwing, but with a family prayer. We closed doors for a while, and knelt before the altar. The atmosphere was so emotional, so Spirit-filled! And what was so glorifying was that, in our hearts, each of us could feel it, were so much filled with the deepest joy we ever experienced as a family. For during the prayer, each of us never uttered the words we used to strenuously say before, “Mobalik na unta si Manoy…”, but what was dominant was the word THANKSGIVING! Thanksgiving, because though we are not still that whole, we, I was still so thankful to God for what had been happening to our family now; to be as a whole family back is so very, very, very close to realization already! We could feel our hearts burning for it! I could not help but thank God for it in full tears before our old altar (where we used to gather as a family before). Gratitude and imminent hope and promise triumphed over rigidity and pressure! “It is the Lord!” I remembered my being a shepherd carrying the baby Jesus on my contemplation during the retreat. Indeed, it was Him that my family celebrated in those treasured days. For each of us were now whispering in great joy, assured and hopeful, “Manoy has come back! Manoy has come back!” And for the first time that night, so moving, that for my whole 25 years of existence, we had our first ever picture complete as a whole family! And the masterpiece was full of smiles, and the smiles, if one looks at them, expressed that each of us had received the greatest Christmas gift from the very Gift Himself: “That we are a family again, so close, very close to be whole again!” I will develop a large size of it, frame it and hang it right inside our house. I will even soon post the picture as my Friendster’s primary photo to tell the whole wide world that it was because of Christ that we were getting so close in getting back to being totally whole again as a family.
Yes, the supposed plan was not yet actualized, I’m still looking forward to doing it soon, why rush then. Healing, I believe, takes time, quality time…mama resonated. I remembered her before telling me that she would never lose hope; now, look at what she had hoped for!
Manoy still have the marks of his past, as well as his two younger brothers. Mama and Papa still have the marks of the rigid backgrounds and orientations. Yet, the first times we had, the best times, had begun, it will never be too late anymore. And there’s no reason for me to lose hope. Hopelessness could never quench the fire burning fervently in my heart now!
Now let me go back to the One and the place all these things had taken root.
“Thank you Lord for bringing me here in the seminary, for letting me experience what it takes to be a true Galilean”. For without God through Vianney, I could never have realized such WORTH from Him; only in Vianney…only in GY…only with my formators, batch mates, and the people I met did I find a true family in my own family and in families I will soon be with. And He never forsakes, “Take all my will Oh Lord! Your love and grace is much enough for me…see what you have given next, dear One: EVERYTHING FOLLOWS! Indeed, it is the Lord!

LEONILO A.DAGPIN, JR.
January 6, 2009

"SUGNOD" (firewood)

SUGNOD
“Get all my will oh Lord, please help me get them! I offer them to you; use them oh Lord! Will me! I give you everything Lord! I’m just so self-centered! I always do what I will and here I am frustrated again!” Personal issues weren’t far from my retreat.
GRATITUDE – foaming, brimming, and overflowing. God is sooo full of surprises. It was the gratitude rooted in WORTH! – and no longer just an ordinary 5-letter word for me. It was primarily my lack and yet given and even rooted in the context of LOVE! So how could every thing not flow from it! The serenity of the place and in the stillness of my heart, God showed every worth in a slow, soaking, deep-penetrating pace, so that every time I savor them, I could not help but smile.
Well, how could I not! The typical Jun who just couldn’t be set apart from his low-esteem; who couldn’t forget his Grade 1 and 3 scam and theft; who, due to asthma, gave in to the attractive façade of the “world” to boast and compensate; who just recently indirectly rejected his father; in short, a speck of dust – was acknowledged and given the WORTH from One’s activity and sacrifice of life.
One overflowing worth…manifested in three degrees during my retreat… The first week expressed such. Because of that worth, as early as November 2, helpless tears of deepest begging spontaneously cried out the very words mentioned above when I tend to get away from sacrificing my own will to Him. Because of that worth, I was able to see how I was called even before I was born, put me in the right generation, race and time, packed me with gifts and talents. Because of that worth, Jesus cried and endured death for my shame of sin. Because of that worth, He never ceased to wait when I was so prodigal. Because of that worth, he didn’t send me to hell through the family I have now. And because of that worth, he led me back to the basics: how to need (spiritual poverty) and give (actual poverty).
The first few days of the second week that enkindled the deeper manifestation of worth in my whole person showed how my being a servant deeply revealed the true Mary and Joseph who shed tears of both reverential fear and joyful humility. And it was the “shepherd” in me, poorest and lowliest, that the ever-widest coverage of God’s love was revealed through the Child in the manger. And yet, the other sway of the swing, the other standard, made its moves felt. Looking at the remarkable characteristic of the Holy Family, a desire to have a family like that, made me compare mine with them. But the greatest Standard prevailed! They expressed through their very words and deeds how simple people boost and value the basic love and goodness in me and in my family.
This time, the third manifestation of worth was expressed through another word – FRIENDSHIP! And this was, is, and will be it; the best friendship I ever experienced. No other matched such one. For basically, all other friendships are based on Jesus’ friendship to each one – to me! See how he invited me to be with him as he left home to respond to a growing and brimming, irresistible, flaming heart to the will of Abba; how he assured me of the presence of the Father, Son and Spirit within me on the Jordan event; how we embraced with so much joy and companionship after a successful 40-day retreat; how he taught me to transform pride to humility during Peter’s call; how he actualized the worth of a child when he enjoyed playing with children; how he cried pitifully and embraced me when he raised my “Lazarus”; how he expressed emotions as he foretold his death, plead to carry my cross, and assured me of hope and renewal; how he laughed while I danced and praised with the crowd during his triumphal entry at Jerusalem; how I took a few puffs of my inhaler after a trembling and cringing moment during the turning and throwing of tables at the temple; how I, in the most passive moments, gazed and empathized with so much pity on the very human Jesus as he cried and trembled in weakening feet during the “pamilin-bilin” moments; how he showed a weary, bloody, and dirty face and body as he went through the wild roads to the mount; how he cried in deep pain when the soldier hit even more forcefully the hammer as I shouted and pleaded for a stop; how I saw the last tiny smile and stream of tears after I emotionally and whole-heartedly kissed his badly-bruised toe; how I rushed after a moving dinner to be with him on the last few seconds of his life! Just when our friendship became so intimate and “at-home”…he died. Just when I appreciated and gave-in with love to the Father’s will through a deepening eagerness to pray despite a tight daily schedule…he died. That was the emptiest heart I ever felt! No one would chat with me on bedtimes anymore; greet “Good morning!”; no one to ask, “Saan na naman tayo ngayon Lord?!” eagerly anymore. He let me feel through his grace; the grace I asked for the whole retreat, how to feel and use the heart, over the typical Jun who used to rationalize things. If only I said “Yes!” to the companionship he offered before, “Simba ta Jun!”. And when he, already coughing blood on the cross, uttered the words, “Friends na tayo Jun ha…” during a particular repetition of his death, my sinful state just uttered helplessly, “Lord..it’s already too late…you are dying…” No one already answered when I looked up at the lifeless corpse, and when I regretfully struck a few times the stone door, “ Amigo na ta Lord! Amigo na ta!” Just imagine, he experienced all those unimaginable things for men to do; did the initiative to really call me to his friendship through that way! – for me! Just because of that “Busy ko!” Who was I?! That even during such passions, the other sway of the swing surfaced again. The “master” in me reacted, “Lord, why do you do that? That only for servants!” when he washed my feet; the “liberty to choose comfort” in me just ‘slept’ and didn’t even shed a tear during his agony in the garden; the “di-palulupig” in me cried out, “Retaliate Lord!” when he was slapped and beaten by the priests and people; the “flesh over spirit” in me made me thought he would not strive to lift his body and rise after a heavy scourging and cross. BUT HE DIDN’T!” This time, he made me realize what real servant hood was and is all about; what sacrificing the comfort of one’s own will to the Father’s was and is all about; what non-violence was and is all about; what faithfulness until the end through holding on to the Spirit even though the flesh is weak.
Then, on that particular dawn, indeed, evil never and will never prevail! How graced I was to really witness with all my senses, my whole being, when he revealed with Mary and me, and showed the signature smile and embrace of the human and glorified divine Jesus; how I joked in the at-homeness of my heart to Jesus, “Nakakabaliw ka na man Lord pag nagco-console ka!” when I was able to relate my resurrection experience with mother, Magdalene, my Emmaus buddy, and with the disciples! And now, just as how the disciples’ face became so unstoppable and powerful after the assurance of his presence “to the end of the age”, my heart, too, was so fueled with burning passion and eagerness to “love his sheep”. And this love was no longer an ordinary 4-letter word, but a reminiscing and savoring of the friendship so that I may be able to experience them with others, the unworthy and not just mere words.
And in the “coliseum” with the choir of angels and innumerable saints around the Triune God, I finally fell down on my knees and stretched out my hands! Invigorated and “handa nang sumabak”, I don’t have to boast and exhibit! For though they give me a pleasing face to people, now I realized, it didn’t and won’t last. For behind such compensations of pride, boastfulness, honor, riches – I still ended up empty, cold, and naked, in self-pity and low esteem. The “world” does not know how I helplessly prayed for strength and courage since I could not do such things all by myself; that I am nothing before God; and cannot do things without Him. And what made it more tempting yet challenging when the “world” knew and taunted me, “Ah, talawan man diay gihapon ka Jun! Sangpit man diay gihapon ka’g Ginoo! Pila ra man unta toy pagpasikat, ikaw pay mabulahan!”
It doesn’t matter now, for it is this God who, in my coldness and nakedness, has clothed me with worth and love that never and will never end! Thus it’s time to let go and let God use and will them! So, Lord, LOVE and GRACE – is more than enough Lord, please grant them to me, ‘yan lang Lord” Love and grace summarized in your presence of friendship with me. Your presence lang Lord, you as in you lang, then I would never feel empty even when I get poor and suffer. When I was with you, even before you were born, with your parents – I was poor. When we went out to the ministry, I didn’t bring any thing – but I was happy, so happy and secured and warm whenever you are with me. Use my liberty, my memory, my understanding, my will! Bahala na magkasugat-sugat ‘tong mga daliri ko sa paggi-gitara, lahat ng ito ay para sa ‘yo! Your presence lang Lord, enough for me; so that I may use all that I have and act according to the purpose you wished me to do. Use all I have Lord – even my very life as avenues, as instruments to make you present in my being and action. As regards the Jun now, yes, still the same, but let me express the transformation through this song, “Because of You my life has and will change, thank you for the love and joy/grace you bring…I feel no shame, I’ll tell the world (through pondering and actions, not boasting) it’s because of You!” And in connection with his final “pamilin-bilin”, “Jun, ‘wag mo kalimutan pagsasamahan natin ha!” Yes, Lord, I will be your priest; I will LOVE your sheep! Gatungan mo puso kong nagliliyab!
How Jun? Continuing the faithfulness and generosity to PRAYER and my friends in the Lord – they are renewal of license, my constant firewood, SUGNOD. And as Fr. Arrupe expressed, “It will decide everything”; shared with my flaming heart’s words, “…and everything follows”.
With that, Oh lord, see how rich I and Your Church will become! Praise God! All these things are for You dear Friend and Lord! THANK YOU VERY MUCH!


LEONILO A. DAGPIN, JR.
December 10. 2008