That was August 2008; during our GY formation year. Upon learning that I will be assigned at Ma. Reyna Hospital for a 1-month Hospital Ministry, I immediately said to myself, “Ah, walay challenge sa Ma.Reyna kay han-ay ug limpyo na ang tanan; mga datu ray kasagara ma-admit; dili kaayo mabati ang pakig-uban sa mga kabus. I would be more excited and more challenged if I were assigned at either German Doctors Hospital or Provincial Hospital kay naa gyud didto ang tinuod nga pagpangalagad”. That was what I thought.
After only two weeks at Maria Reyna, I was already exposed to different kinds of patients, of different sects and religion, rich and poor. Still two weeks of ministry, struggles already arose. I felt rejection from some rich patients; Muslims and “sunog baga” type of people caused me a lot of anxiety. And because of that, I tended to avoid them and rather chose rooms and wards where poor patients were, kay didto ko mas “at home”. If I were Abram, in our 1st reading, I would have told the Lord, “Lord, sigurado-a bya ha nga ibutang ko nimo sa usa ka lugar nga daghang mapanginabuhi-an; kanang ma-‘at home’ ko”.
Then came our weekly processing with Ate Venus and Fr. Manol. Thank God! I was saved! For during the process, I started to realize that it was not the hospital that I hated, it was not the rich people or the Muslims or the “sunog-baga” image that I hated – it was the unresolved and untamed parts in me that I hated most. It was not the “speck” of other people that I hated, but the “log” that was in me. And to be exact to the very words, they found out in me a ‘repressive anger”, the hang-up that was lurking within me, which was awakened and disturbed when I associated with those patients who resembled the images of those people who troubled my self-esteem before. Thanks to the Vianney formation.
Now, here in the context of the seminary; I think, one of the localized versions of the word “judgment” that was expressed in the Gospel is the seemingly unending culture of “kantsaw” or “yaga-yaga” or “abi-abi”. And I am not exempted to that. Though of course not all “kantsaw” or “yaga-yaga” belong to what the Gospel says about judgment, but I think my dear brothers, it is still worth reflecting and examining the “pangangantsaw” that we do. Again I repeat, I myself am not exempted to these questions. How often do we “kantsaw” our fellows? And what do we usually “kantsaw” to our brothers? Are we doing this because the one we make fun with deserves our “kantsaw” OR simply because we would like to hide and pass to others our own faults and issues? A book I read says that, “contemporary psychology would agree that we tend to dislike in others what we dislike in ourselves”. Do you agree with that?
In the end, I think this is not the only issue some of us are having; naa pay mga authority hang-ups, intimacy or sexual issues, etc. And what we did last Friday, when some of us submitted their terna of schedule for our Priestly Growth Accompaniment with Ate Venus, suitably correlates to the message of our 1st reading and Gospel today.
That like Abram, when he was called by God, he didn’t even question God as to where he would put him; he just showed his total faith on Him. And what was even more remarkable was that, Abram brought with him all his possessions. He didn’t leave anything.
And so we hope and pray that as we respond to God’s call through the formation programs, not just in our PGAs, but also in our SDs and ICs and the whole seminary formation; that like Abram, may we also bring all that we have, the me as I am, no secrets, just ourselves with arms wide open to the seminary formation.
Then and there, as the Lord says, “when we remove the wooden beam from our own eyes first, then we will see clearly, ready to help remove the ‘splinters’ from our brother’s eyes”. Mga bros, sugod sa ta sa kaugalingon…Kabag-ohan! Now na!
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